(Closed) Funniest thing you’ve heard all day (or week, month, ever…)

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Not as funny as yours but I was hanging out with one of my friends and she mentioned that she had to get her parents from jail. Turns out they BIKED through a red light and didnt have their ID’s on them. I found it pretty funny. 😀

Post # 5
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Shiner: bahaha could you imagine describing your job to somebody if you flew those little hamsters around?  

Post # 6
275 posts
Helper bee

I was at the store with my friend a d her little boy who’s 3. We were checking out and he said he needed to go potty. My friend told him to hold it til she was done paying. He looks at his hands and asks “how?” lol

Post # 7
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

A bunch of Chuck Norris jokes… like….

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Post # 10
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The best one in a while was probably my ten year old brother telling my mom that he “deserved a birthWEEK instead of a birthDAY, because a day isn’t enough time to celebrate all the love she has for him.”

Post # 11
3261 posts
Sugar bee

via twitter: “Wait, so Roe v. Wade isn’t about canoeing?”

Post # 12
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@Shiner: Omg I loved that movie, but that line KILLED ME. straight-up on the floor laughing after he said that. Up until then I was really thinking it was a great movie.

Post # 13
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It wasn’t something I heard, but something I said. While driving down the road, the traffic on the other side of the road was completly stopped, after driving a bit more down the road, I saw that traffic was moving, and I said allowed to the drivers on the other side of the road with Fiance in the car “HAHA, I can see your future!” 

Post # 13
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Old thread, but I need to bump it for THIS :

All of you PATD listeners should get a kick out of it!

Post # 14
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

These are all gold. 

Post # 15
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK

jenilynevette:  haha I just properly laughed out loud and my SO now thinks I’m crazy lol

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