Post # 1
Fiance just got switched to night shift and I am having insomnia without him here. Puttering around on FB and various blogs and I found the two funniest things I’ve heard all day:
“I just looked up “jet lag” on Wikipedia and it said that scientists have helped hamsters recover from jet-lag by giving them viagra. Which means that at one point there were a bunch of people flying hamsters with tiny erections to exotic locations in the name of science. Which I think is just proof that scientists are high all the time.”
From a Facebook status (The heat index was 109 here today and its midnight and still feels like steam outside): “It’s hotter than Lil Wayne’s block out there!”
So what’s the funniest thing you’ve heard today? (Funny pictures are also welcome!)
Post # 3
Not as funny as yours but I was hanging out with one of my friends and she mentioned that she had to get her parents from jail. Turns out they BIKED through a red light and didnt have their ID’s on them. I found it pretty funny. 😀
Post # 4
@miksje130: Hmm, that is so odd. I get the running the red light. But I wasn’t aware that you had to have your ID on you on a bicycle. Or that you could go to jail for such an offense. I think its pretty funny too.
Post # 5
@Shiner: bahaha could you imagine describing your job to somebody if you flew those little hamsters around?
Post # 6
I was at the store with my friend a d her little boy who’s 3. We were checking out and he said he needed to go potty. My friend told him to hold it til she was done paying. He looks at his hands and asks “how?” lol
Post # 7
A bunch of Chuck Norris jokes… like….
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Post # 8
@Stellar Magnitude: The last one. Ahahaha. Love it.
Post # 9
I love stupid jokes. FI thinks I’m crazy for laughing at half the stuff I laugh at, but usually I start laughing so hard that he starts too. Like this morning, he came home from work covered in black dust from the road his construction crew is working on. I told him to cough “Aheh, aheh” and say “I’ve got the black lung, Pop.” And then I died when he did. And called him Zoolander the rest of the day.
One of my favorite stupid jokes:
“What did the doe say when she walked out of the woods?”
“I’m never doing that for two bucks again.”
LOL. My college roommate and I had a dry erase board on our fridge full of stupid jokes we heard and loved. One of the quotes on it was from a movie where a military (or something) team is sent to an island for training. And one by one, they get killed according to their weaknesses, like the guy who smokes buys a pack of cigarettes from a vending machine and they poison him. At the end of the movie, LL Cool J and some girl are left. LL Cool J shoots the killer and then says to the girl, “I guess we figured out his weakness…bullets.” Ahahaha.
Post # 10
The best one in a while was probably my ten year old brother telling my mom that he “deserved a birthWEEK instead of a birthDAY, because a day isn’t enough time to celebrate all the love she has for him.”
Post # 11
via twitter: “Wait, so Roe v. Wade isn’t about canoeing?”
Post # 12
@Shiner: Omg I loved that movie, but that line KILLED ME. straight-up on the floor laughing after he said that. Up until then I was really thinking it was a great movie.
Post # 13
It wasn’t something I heard, but something I said. While driving down the road, the traffic on the other side of the road was completly stopped, after driving a bit more down the road, I saw that traffic was moving, and I said allowed to the drivers on the other side of the road with Fiance in the car “HAHA, I can see your future!”
Post # 13
Old thread, but I need to bump it for THIS :
All of you PATD listeners should get a kick out of it!
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK
jenilynevette: haha I just properly laughed out loud and my SO now thinks I’m crazy lol