(Closed) Funniest/Ridiculous/Strange Customer Service stories?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 61
375 posts
Helper bee

Customer service jobs can be an absolute nightmare! Up until I graduated last June, I’d been a server off and on for the better part of the last eight years and worked in retail for a number of years as well. There is no shortage of crazy customer stories, although there are many bad memories I have successfully blocked out!

While working in a popular Canadian restaurant chain: 

Me: How are we doing with the menus? Do you have any questions?
Customer: Ah yes, about your mushroom cheddar burger…what’s cheddar?

Later in the meal…

Me: How is everything tasting?
Customer: Well my diet coke is watered down.
Me: Sir, your ice has melted…

I was also asked far too many times what the difference between a red and white wine was and what the difference was between a 5 oz glass and a 9 oz glass.

While working the till in a clothing store I was called the C word. A young woman, who was on her phone, lined up at the till next to mine and my manager, who was working that till, got called away because the door alarm went off, which he politely explained and I told her I could ring her up at my till, but she ignored us both. Soon after, a long line forms at my till and I’m the only one on cash. She realizes she isn’t being helped and gets angry, so I again tell her I would be happy to help her if she hopped into my line. Again she ignores me, so I continue to ring people through. A few minutes pass and she very loudly says to the person shes chatting with on the phone “I don’t know WHAT is going on, but this C*NT won’t ring me through!” Meanwhile people in line are looking at her like she’s crazy and my manager finally returns to ring her through. On her way out she suggested I should remove the stick from my ass. She was still on her phone!


Post # 62
46 posts
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t know if this is funny or just plain odd. I work in a call centre for a cable company and about a year ago one of the girls on my team took a call from a guy who said he was the second coming of Jesus and God was going to bring his wrath down upon our company in 14 days. Two weeks later exactly lightning struck the building and shut off the whole buildings power. It was really weird. XD 

Post # 63
4030 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I have to say that I’m having a great time reading all these! …I have a weird coffee/pizzeria customer story also,

i worked at a popular pizzeria all through high school and college, one night about 2 hours before closing on a Saturday night a woman comes in and asked if she can have a coffee to go. This was a strange request and not something we’re normally prepared to do at 9PM on a saturday. So I was kind of thrown off by this and paused for a second, the lady was like, “what’s the issue? U don’t sell coffee?” And I explained that sure we could but we would have to make it and it will take a few minutes as long as that’s okay. She rolled her eyes and said, ok fine. I asked if she wanted anything else while she waited and she was like, “just the coffee and hurry.”

I just kind of ignored her and went into the kitchen to make a fresh pot. So about two minutes go by and she comes back up to the counter and says, “UH HELLO???? where is the coffee I ordered?” I told her I would check on it but that I doubted it was done since I just turned the coffee maker on Two minutes ago. The woman was fucking FUMING. She was like, “I don’t understand what’s so fucking difficult about making a cup of coffee?”

At this point I just walked away from her and went into the kitchen to try to get her the coffee. I stood in front of the coffee machine bc I didn’t want to go back out there with her attitude, I could still hear her now complaining to my manager about me. she tells him that he hired a real “idiot” and that I should have told her how long it was going to take.

My manager totally took up for me and told the lady that I explained she would have to wait from the beginning and he told her to relax and not speak that way about his employee. That Shut her up For a minute… So he walks into the kitchen as I’m pouring the coffee in a to go cup. He takes it from me and says, “don’t worry I’ll bring it out to her I don’t want u dealing with her.” So he takes the coffee out to her I follow him out, he hands her the coffee and says to her, “listen ma’am, do all of us a huge favor and go to Dunkin donuts next time.”

she was soooo pissed and told him to GO FUCK HIMSELF. so my manager said, “U can get the fuck out now, thanks” and the lady turned around and left! LOL. my manager and I talked about that crazy woman for weeks afterwards! 

Post # 64
9752 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

In my first job (at a newsagency), when we had to changeover magazines, a lot of them we just tore off the front cover to scan/send back and then throw out the rest of the magazine. The adult magazines such as Zoo Weekly were ones that we tore the covers off. Well we had a guy who did some of the newspaper run who we gave them to. Middle aged guy. He was kinda creepy, would tend to hang around the store when there was one of the young women working so you always had to give him something to do elsewhere. It was funny but weird at the same time.

My current position is as a volunteer receptionist at a charity. We can only help a small group of people, and only accept certain donations. We do not accept furniture donations, haven’t for at least 10 years. Almost every day I get at least one furniture donations call. It seems other charities give our number out as a place to contact regarding furniture donations. I always give the callers contact information for places on my list that do take furniture donations, but I admit it gets frustrating. Especially when I think I have spoken to the same people more than once regarding furniture donations! It is pretty funny when I have 3 calls about the same thing in the space of an hour.

Post # 65
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I worked at a gas station for a while in college and have a million stories to share but the best two I will always remember:

-the pumps were laid out in an odd placement from where the registers were so sometimes if a big truck was parked on one side, you cant see any of the pumps behind it. I had a man come in one night dressed very snazzy and walks through the door and didnt even stop at the register- as he is strolling by he throws, literally,  a $100 bill on the counter and said “fill up the mercedes” and I said “Sir I need to know what pump you are on so that someone else doesnt accidently get your fill up. I cannot see the pump you are on from here” He said “The mercedes parked out there” and keeps walking. As he comes back to the counter he asked for the change and I told him that his gas pumps were self service and that I cant set it until i know what pump number he is on…… he starts freaking out and screaming at me “Im in the F*** Mercedes, the brand new silver Mercedes parked out there, I dont know what F*** pump it is, im in the GOD D**** $50 thousand dollar Mercedes!!!!!”  and I calmly replied “ok thats nice, but im still unaware the pump number” he grabs the $100 off the counter and throws it at me “saying fill up my mercedes or you will be sorry” I just flung the money back at his and said “If you would like to try that again in a polite manner along with the pump number, i would be glad to” he started screaming and calling me a cunt as he walked out of the store. classy!

-We had one lady come in and as she was checking out at the counter, asked if the cigars with the glass tubes “came in any smaller size , because that tube is too big for what shes smoking”   she was flat out asking me for something to make a crack pipe out of!!!!!

-Ive been a cosmetologist for years and have lots of good stories to share with that career as well but the best one I always think of was the time we hired a new girl and it was her VERY first day and she was super nervous and wanted to make sure she did everything right…… we had a guy walk in and wanted a haircut (quick fade) with clippers that takes less than 15 mins to do….. She did a consultation with him, entered his info into the system and got to work etc……… about 5 minutes into the haircut this woman comes BUSTING through the door screaming “What the F is taking so long are you getting a G** Damn blow job from the sluts or something?!” he was incredibly embarrassed and the woman was banned from the property. THe girl cutting his hair burst into tears and ran to the back…..   its funny to think back now but we all stood there stunned when it happened!!!!

Post # 66
2454 posts
Buzzing bee

Jenny120:  I worked at bed bath and beyond! Second job though! 

Like she had mentioned Bed, Bath, And Beyond will take any returns. One day this customer came up to me to to return these items. She just placed the bag on the counter and handed me her receipt. I just stuck my hand in the bag because she was talking to me and I didn’t think anything of it. I sliced my hand open because the drinking glasses she was trying to return were f*cking shattered. She literally just watched me as I stuck my hand in a bag of glass. That was a what the f*ck moment for me! 

Post # 67
543 posts
Busy bee

These are all hilarious! 

I worked at a movie theater in LA for 3 years and let’s just say.. People are crazy.

There was a time when I was working at the guest services counter. This mid-aged Caucasian man came up to the register and asked for tickets to a newly released, sold out movie. The theater I worked at has a reserved seating system which allows the customers to select their desired seat while purchasing the ticket. He became frustrated once he saw that there were only 2 seats available in the very first row. Then, instead of asking me about other show times, he said, “Where the hell are you from?” and I replied, “Well, I’m actually from here (Los Angeles)” which made him furious. He then yelled, “NO, you’re NOT from HERE. Where the hell are you REALLY from, you deceiving b***h?” At this point, I was grinning because he was being an idiot. I replied, “Well, I was born at Kaiser Hospital located in Los Angeles..” and before I could finish my sentence, he yelled, “YOURE A F***ING IMMIGRANT HUH? WELL, I DONT KNOW HOW YOU SAVAGE PEOPLE ARE, BUT WE DONT DO BUSINESS LIKE THAT HERE” on top of his lungs. At this point, his face was super red and he was breathing heavily.. and I should mention that he made a fist with one of his hands and punched it on my counter as hard as he could. I was trying my best not to laugh at this point but failed and started giggling. He then demanded that my manager should come talk to him about my immigration status. Oh god, people are crazy. CRAAAAZY.

Post # 68
30 posts
  • Wedding: September 2016

acglandorf:  Heh! I have a Ram 3500 Dually as one of my babies, I mean vehicles.  The number of flea brains who comment on how brave my man is to let me drive his truck is crazy.  DF won’t even drive the truck! Our driveway and garage is this Mopar Groomsmen war going on.  Plus the lone VW. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by  hyphenornot.
Post # 69
447 posts
Helper bee

Ohhhh I have a few good ones!

I worked as a waitress at a super busy lakefront restaurant during the summers all through college. I HATED it because of how terrible the people were, but I would make enough money over the summer to support myself during the school year, so I put up with it. My last summer there, I had my two all-time favorite bad customer stories.

The first one – I was working on a Wednesday night. Usually Wednesdays would start off really quiet, so the management would cut the staff down to about 2 servers, and we would inevitably get SLAMMED around 730 or 8 oclock. This particular Wednesday, I sat a family of 4 in my section. Literally every time I came out to check on them, they had moved their table. They would literally stand up, gather up all their shit, and move to a different table without asking. This in and of itself was a problem because the food runners were working off the original table number I had entered in the system, and were super confused because this family was sitting somewhere new every couple of minutes. If that wasn’t bad enough, the two little kids from the family were literally wreaking havoc all over the damn restaurant… Running into bussers carrying trays, going behind the bar, going into the storage closet and literally THROWING things out of it.. It was seriously so bewildering. The cherry on top, though, was when the father of this family told me it was his daughter’s birthday. At this point, I just wanted them out, so I gave them a free dessert. As I was walking it to the table, the little birthday candle blew out. I apologized profusely, and he demanded I go get a lighter to re-light the candle. But first, he told me I had to sing the birthday song to his daughter. I literally had 14 tables at this point, so I apologized and said that I didn’t sing, but I would try to get the band that was playing to sing. I ran up to the stage, the band sang, and I dashed off to attend to my other tables and actually did try to find a lighter. But by the time I found one, they had already eaten their free dessert and were inside the restaurant, complaining to the restaurant owner that I was the worst waitress they had ever had and that I had single-handedly ruined their night and their daughter’s birthday.

That same summer, I asked one of my customers if there was anything I could get for him. He said “no, but do me a favor… bend over and let me smack your ass in front of all these people”.

I also worked for a certain car rental company (We’ll pick you up!)… We once had an insurance rental customer who called and asked for a ride into the branch. He couldn’t pay the $50 rental fee so we couldn’t release a car. He threw a FIT and said he was going to call the police because we had shown up to his house and brought him to the rental branch without his permission.

It’s also pretty common rental policy that you return the rented vehicle with the same level of gas that it left with. Also pretty common, with insurance rentals, you have a daily limit covered by your insurance company.. If it doesn’t cover the cost of the rental, the customer is responsible for the remaining cost unless they can talk the insurance company into covering it… Well, one day, this huge beef-head guy comes in and, go figure, his insurance company only paid for like $15 a day, which was about half the cost of a compact car. We had a fiat on the lot. Since this guy literally would not fit in a Fiat, we decided to cut him a break and give him a Ford F150 since it was the only other car available. We told him that we would cut him a major deal and only charge him $.50 a day for the truck (he wouldve been paying $20 a day with his insurance rates). We did the check in, told him it had a full tank so he had to bring it back with a full tank, and sent him on his way.

Well he comes back a week later and throws a goddamn fit because he now has to pay a whopping $3.50 out of pocket for his rental. I go out to check in the car, and the tank is literally empty. So I go in and say “we released this with a full tank, you can either take the truck and go fill it yourself or I can just charge you for the refill here”. He got really huffy and impatient and told me to just charge him. I STILL cut him a deal and said “Okay, great. Listen, I’m only going to charge you for half a tank because our gas rates are super high”. I printed his receipt for him, he took one look at it and LOST HIS SHIT. There was a lobby full of people and he’s screaming “YOU FUCKING BITCH, HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT RAPING PEOPLE LIKE THIS. YOU BETTER WALK OUT OF HERE WITH SOMEBODY TONIGHT BECAUSE I’LL BE WAITING FOR YOU. HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF. FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU DIE”

Like, it was so bewildering. People literally confuse the hell out of me. Maybe just don’t act like an idiot???? maybe follow the rules??? maybe just…. stop??? I can’t.

Post # 70
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I worked at a sort-of higher end women’s boutique. People stole our designer denim pretty frequently but we had a really strict policy that we never confronted unless we physically SAW the person conceal the item. This made us pretty helpless since most people concealed in the dressing room anyway. We had to rely almost exclusively on the sensor at the door.

One day, a pregnant lady came in and was trying on a million things to fit her new body. I’m being attentive and accommodating, of course. She asks me to bring her some specific items to go with what she picked out, and when I come back, she’s panicking in the dressing room. She opens the door and shows me that she has bled through her pants – she’s having a miscarriage. I freak out and say I’ll call an ambulance, but she asks me to just walk her to her car and she’d go to the hospital on her own. She’s clutching her stomach and doubled over and is barely standing up. The sensor goes off at the door but I was holding those shirts still so I tell her not to worry about it and disable it. 

After I walk her to the car, I come back in and my coworkers are standing there dumbfounded. I thought it was because of all of the chaos that just ensued … nope. While I had helped the woman out, they went to clean up the dressing room and THERE WAS A FAKE PREGNANCY BELLY MADE OF STYROFOAM HANGING ON THE BACK OF THE DOOR and three pairs of $$$$$ jeans missing. She used a fake pregnant belly, discarded it in the room, stuffed her shirt with clothes, then got out without any suspicion by doubling over to hide the clothes and faking a miscarriage. THERE WAS FAKE BLOOD! It was seriously insane. 

Post # 71
367 posts
Helper bee

fourfrenchfries:  That is absolutely asinine that anyone would have the gall to fake a pregnancy AND a miscarriage to steal jeans! That is the craziest story I’ve read on this thread. I can’t believe she would do that. Also, I think the smarter thing to do would be to have a giant hand bag and shove the fake belly in there. Also, I don’t buy designer jeans so I’m curious what a pair costs?? 

Post # 72
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

LoveAndLaughter:  To me, one of the craziest parts was that she must have planned this out carefully. Asking me to bring specific items and counting on me holding them as I walked her out of the store … I guess, even had the sensors beeped without me having any items, she was counting on the chance that I probably wouldn’t have searched a pregnant woman? I don’t know what I would have done! We would have searched a handbag if the sensors went off under regular circumstances.

This brand isn’t like celebrity status jeans, but they are easily $250 so times three is a big deal, though I will say we had to report over 200 pairs a year as shoplifted, so it wasn’t exactly uncommon to lose a pair on a shift.

We were able to take a face shot from our security cameras and sent it around the mall as a warning … but nothing ever came of it that I’m aware of. Had we not found the fake belly I would have assumed the three jeans just snuck out sometime during the day … but the styrofoam was like … a giant styrofoam ball sliced in half, wired to two smaller half-styrofoam balls with three belts. It was so crazy.

Post # 73
30 posts
  • Wedding: September 2016

And a new one today.

We’re having a nasty rain ice mix.  I had to go in since manager couldn’t get in.  No big deal to me. Around 1 or so, we lost power from the storm. As per policy, we escorted customers out and locked up.  Power was back by 1:27, no big deal.

2:12, I get a call from regional to go check my store, since they might be closed. Had to explain I was there, we’d lost power for a half hour, but had reopened. Apparently, some one went off on our customer call person because we had the nerve to close on Thanksgiving.  Because clearly, the electric system trucks and police in the street with no working lights wasn’t a clue we might have no power and thusly close.

Post # 74
19 posts

kristalinx:  I had a lady tell me she couldn’t buy the new iPhone 5 when it was released because the lord was coming for her and she didn’t know if he was going to change her identity so she couldn’t have the phone because her fingerprint might change and THEN what would she do?! She then took of rambling and doing jazz hands out of the store never to be seen again. 


I love customer service. 

Post # 75
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My mouth is hanging open – what on earth is wrong with people??

My sister just told me a story the other day – she’s a clothing retail Manager – that a lady was throwing a fit in the store and at the end she said to my sister “Oh yeah! Well guess what? I have strep throat and now you’re going to get it too!”

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