(Closed) Funny ceremony readings?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Went to a wedding last year of a dear friend who was the sane way. She used an adorable passage from The Velveteen Rabbit about growing old and how love makes you feel real. We all laughed but also saw the beauty in it. There’s a link at the bottom to describe it more. Here is the passage:

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender…. Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?” “Real isn’t how you’re made.” said the Skin Horse. ” Its a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up?” he asked, “or bit by bit?” It doesn’t happen all at once” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or who have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people to don’t understand.” – Margery Williams

http://restlessimaginations.blogspot.com/2010/04/love-is-real-lesson-from-velveteen.html

Post # 5
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If they’re dog lovers this one is great:

Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali

First of all, it’s a big responsibility, especially in a big city. So think long and hard before deciding on love. On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security: when you’re walking down the street late at night and you have a leash on love ain’t no one going to mess with you. Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable. Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm. It lies between you and lives and breaths and makes funny noises. Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs. It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn’t like being left alone for long. But come home and love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes. Love leaves you little surprises here and there. Love needs lots of cleaning up after. Sometimes you just want to get love fixed. Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper and swat love on the nose, not so much to cause pain, just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk. Because love loves exercise. It runs you around the block and leaves you panting. It pulls you in several different directions at once, or winds around and around you until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go. People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk to each other on the street. Throw things away and love will bring them back, again, and again, and again. But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you and never stops.

 

 

This one’s funny but I’d definitely run it by the couple first:

Yes, I’ll Marry You

Pam Ayres

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, And here’s the reason why; So I can push you out of bed When the baby starts to cry, And if we hear a knocking And it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, And you investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, You may not apprehend it, But when the tumble-drier goes It’s you that has to mend it, You have to face the neighbour Should our labrador attack him, And if a drunkard fondles me It’s you that has to whack him.

Yes, I’ll marry you, You’re virile and you’re lean, My house is like a pigsty You can help to keep it clean. That sexy little dinner Which you served by candlelight, As I do chipolatas, You can cook it every night!

It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak, I do see great advantages, But none of them for you, And so before you see the light, I do, I do, I do!

 

Post # 6
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I love “I Like You” by Sandol Stoddard Warburg.  It’s a children’s book, and it’s very sweet.  Here is the full text:

http://erikstar.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-like-you-sandol-stoddard-warburg.html

And here are some passages:

‘I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it’s special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, “Remember when you told me something special?”
And both of us remember’

‘When I think something is important
you think it’s important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I’m funny and you think I’m funny too’

‘If you find two four-leaf clovers, you give me one
If I find four, I give you two
If we only find three, we keep on looking
Sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don’t’

‘Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again’

Post # 7
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

 

I always loved this blessing for a non-religious wedding:

The Apache Wedding Prayer

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Best of luck

Alex

http://www.knotbythesea.com

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