Post # 1
Okay, so between my family and Future In-Laws family, there are VERY different ideas of normal etiquette.
My Future In-Laws and close friends in this area are VERY by the book, and my side is very laid back. My mom over heard some things my Future Mother-In-Law and I were talking about and was surprised! It hasnt made planning awkward, but interesting.(So far… she gets funny about that stuff. I am crossing my fingers it stays “interesting”)
My mom was surprised about there even being unspoken rules on gifts, that people pre-pay the postage on the RSVPs, the cash bar debate, and all that jazz. I even think most of the wedding’s food have been made by family.
I am curious if anyone else has had such dramatic differences in family etiquette?
Post # 3
My mom and Kingy’s mom, although from opposite hemispheres, are so laid back about etiquette and planning that we haven’t noticed a huge difference family-wise. I, on the other hand, am much more by the book and extravagant than both of them, so they both think I’m a little nuts.
Example, Future Mother-In-Law wanted to hand deliver save the dates to family at a party she was going to and I asked if she minded if I sent them out- she laughed a little, but I don’t think she minded. As for my mom, she thinks I can mail invited out like the day before the wedding… is she insane?
Post # 4
Yup…this is/was our situation, although we are the opposite; my family is much more traditional and formal than his. I think that the main reason this didn’t cause big big problems is that, as the bride, I got to make most of the decisions (from their viewpoint). If the roles had been reversed, there would probably have been more problems.
Honestly, most of the problems/stresses were mine. I tried REALLY hard and looked for ways that everyone could be as comfortable as possible…it didn’t always work. I felt that I was in the middle a lot of the time and my Darling Husband, having lived in Toronto for over 10 years and having become more “fancy” (God, I came to hate that word as it was thrown at me often in a negative way) and used to things being more formal, was somewhat concerned that he would look like an ass to his family. We fought a bit…I cried a lot about really dumb stuff (the registry was a big BIG issue for us, formality of dress, etc).
Here’s what I learned: do what makes you comfortable and behave in a way that makes you proud. Ignore everyone else. It’s their own insecurities that make them make negative comments (if your situation gets to that).