Funny Sayings Your Grandmother Used to Say – NWR

posted 2 years ago in Entertainment
Post # 31
2660 posts
Sugar bee

Haha this thread is delightful. I miss my grandmas πŸ™ 

One Grandma: “Getting old is the shits” and variations of the same. 

This isn’t really a saying, but my other grandma didn’t meet my husband until a few days before she passed away. She couldn’t sit up or speak very much and was only intermittently lucid, but when I introduced my then fiance she goes “Oh my, he’s very, very, very… (lonnng pause to take deep breath) VERY handsome” 

Post # 32
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I know this might be more common of a saying, but my grandma always says “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!” I said it once to D.H and he looked at me like I was crazy, he had no idea what it meant haha.

Post # 33
1707 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My grandma would say “you’re as cute as a speckled pup” or “as cute as a bug’s ear.” 

She would also threaten to “pinch your little head off” if you misbehaved. 

Post # 34
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Ironically, I have a wedding-related saying from one of my grandmothers.  She said “marry someone you enjoy talking to, because someday it’s all you have.”  Some of the best pre-wedding advice I got, too. 

I’ll think of some funny ones in a few minutes, I’m sure.

Post # 35
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

“Oh, go soak your head” as an old timey, jokey way to tell someone to screw off. I still use this one from time to time

My grandmother was devoutly Catholic, and one of the most memorable sayings of hers was “God gotcha!” It was reserved for those situations when my sisters and I got unruly and something happened to put us in our place without human intervention. So when we were told not to run, and we took off in a dead sprint the second we’re around the corner and trip, or smart off and turn around only to run face first into a wall- “God gotcha!” 

Post # 36
4790 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
jenkat205 :  that’s a really common Italian saying. My grandparents said it too but in Italian πŸ˜‚

Post # 37
1298 posts
Bumble bee

”Oh do stop complaining. When I was a nurse in the war I had to amputate a mans leg off with a saw while he was awake and he didn’t complain”. 

My grandma used to casually drop graphic war time stories at the most random moments. 

 RIP grandma! I loved her so much 



Post # 38
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I never met her, but it’s infamous that my great great grandmother used to say,”Pass the meat, darn the skin, open up, and cram it in!”

We’re a classy bunch. πŸ˜‚

Post # 39
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017


avprobeauty :  if you eat to much sweets your eyes will glue shut.. and also if you say bad words your tongue will be hairy! πŸ˜¨πŸ˜‚

Post # 40
2382 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

My grandmom died when I was 2, but one of the things my mom told me she used to say was :

“If men had babies, there would be ONE in every family”


Post # 41
4214 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
avprobeauty :  I love this thread so much! I lost my gram last year and miss her so much. Thinking about some of the phrases she used to say makes me smile πŸ™‚ She was originally from Alabama but moved up to NY after she graduated from high school, so some of these things I think might be quirky southern phrases!

  • “Knee high to a duck” to call someone short 
  • “Not big as a minute” small 
  • “Colder than a witch’s behind” 
  • “Quicker than 2 shakes of a duck’s butt” 
  • “If it ain’t broke, don’t break it.” 

Those are just off the top of my head. There were so many more! Always had a good laugh with my gram. 

View original reply
KittyYogi :  Yeah my mom will say “He must have lost his cotton picking mind!” We’re black though, and my grandma did actually come from a family of sharecroppers. I would feel some type of way if a white person said it to me though and I don’t use the phrase. 

Post # 42
2881 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My maternal grandma is still alive and recently moved to Florida to live with my uncle.  When people would ask her why she was moving she would say “the weather here sucks!”.  We live in the Midwest and have all 4 seasons, and true the weather can suck, but I always thought it was funny to see a 5′, 100lb fiesty lady have such a potty mouth.

One of her other favorite phrases was “who put the nickels in you?”, meaning what made you excited or wound up about something.

She used to say “fiddle faddle” when she knew you were fibbing about something.

Someone that was a faker or show off was a “phoney baloney”.

My grandmother is still quite young at heart.  She has an iPhone and texts all the time, except she doesn’t always catch the auto correct so sometimes I have to try to decipher what she’s trying to say.

She also used to check her calendar if someone asked if she was available and say “it doesn’t say I’m going to meet the maker today so I guess I’m available”.

Post # 43
10347 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Both my paternal grandparents are still alive (89 and 90). 

My grandpa:

If you did something sneaky a menacing laugh and “Ho ho ho… the shadow knows” from that old-timey radio show.

“By cracky” is his equivalent of “well I’ll be.”

If you’re not behaving: “Get over here and let me jerk a knot in your tail.”

In cold weather: “It’s colder than a witch’s titty.”

Pants = britches

Grandma whenever I did something unlady like, “tsk tsk tsk… such a girl, such a girl.”

When something doesn’t go as planned: “que sera, sera” (she doesn’t know it’s actually Spanish)

When you ask her how it’s going, “Same shit different day.”

Notorious for telling the joke’s punchline first then asking my grandpa, “how does that one go?”

D.H’s grandma if she doesn’t believe you or is frustrated: “Bologna and cat hair!” (she said she put 2 gross things that don’t go together, together)


Post # 45
38 posts
  • Wedding: June 2018

If I ate too many sweets (which was regularly) my grandma and poppa would tell me “you are going to catch the sugar” which as a kid I thought was great. I always wondered why that was a bad thing lol, I thought “catching sugar” sounded like a good thing and couldn’t understand why they said it in an ominous tone.

My grandma also always referred to the couch as a Davenport.

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