(Closed) Funny thing…am I reading too much into it?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
4981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Reading way too much into it. They probably have so much crap going on with their wedding that they didn’t even think of the theory that you cooked up.

Post # 4
470 posts
Helper bee

Whew. So much over reading. 

Post # 5
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t necessarily you’re reading too much into it. I had a similar situation happen with my cousin’s wedding.  My aunt (his mother) kept texting to ask if I was going to come or if I’d be out of town because if I couldn’t make it she wasn’t going to send an invite.  I told her yes I’d come.  And then she started nagging me about my SO and whether he would come.  Later on I found out that my cousin actually wanted to cut me from the list (family issues that would take a two-hour long mini series to explain), so they were in essence trying to get me to cut myeslf.  In your case, I think it’s odd behavior but I don’t think they’re trying to get you to cut yourself.  I see why’d you question it.


Post # 6
3876 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

They are trying to get confirmations way too early which is a bit rude, but you are reading way too much into it! They just want to know what their numbers might be.

Post # 7
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Yes,  I think you are over analyzing. You guys were their first choice, that is the reason why they are asking so many months in advance. You guys were probably on the A list and then a few months down they would ask people on the B list. But if people on the A list can’t go, then it would make sense to give that spot to someone on the B List.

Post # 8
46 posts
  • Wedding: January 2018

I think you’re reading too much in to it..

Perhaps they have a limited number of guests to fit their budget or venue, and would prefer to have you there hence why you are asked first. If people cant or don’t want to make it, it is best they know before saying that another person they want can’t come. If that makes sense?

Our wedding is in 2018, but we’ve still let people know and have asked if they’re interested in coming. If they’re not, we can invite someone else. It’s not a big deal.

Post # 9
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Having a rough idea of who might be able to attend has a big influence on type of venue. And I made sure that the date we picked was convenient for a particular group of people. So you could interpret it another way – they were so keen for you all to be able to attend, they wanted to lock you in. 

Post # 10
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

newlywednewbie :  Are they rude for pressing people for their rsvp before the invitations have even been mailed out, yes they are but I think it is just generalised rudeness and not something personal to you. 

Post # 11
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

The way they are going about it is gauche, but I don’t think it means they are just throwing you a pity invite. If that were true you wouldn’t be part of it at all.

They are not very manners-savvy that’s for sure. They probably mean well but are thinking more of their own feelings rather than their potential guests.

Post # 12
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

This appears to be a conversation between two close male friends…when my fiancé and I finally confirmed our venue, he texted one of his good friends to let him know the date before we sent out save-the-dates. His friend’s response: “am I invited?”

NBD, Bee. NBD. Maybe a little rough around the edges, but it’s not as if he and his fiancée sent out emails to this effect. 

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