(Closed) Funny Things He Said While TTC

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 76
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

oh I have another one…. I need to start recording these. Not last night but night before we BD (I could be in my FW anytime now so I want to make sure its at least every second day) ….we were both tired and not really interested in making it a “prolonged event”…lol so needless to say I know what needs to be done to get the “job done” and DH was like oh no its gonna happen now….lol I said ya thats the point lol. After I was like we can “fun” BD tomorrow …his response was “ok….wait do you mean like sex sex or do you just want the seed?”

lol, I threw a pillow at him

Post # 77
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

This could totally be taken the wrong way, so I hope no one takes this too seriously, DH and I just have this sense of humor, I found it hilarious…

While we were TTC for a year with no luck, you kind of lose the “spark” when you DTD and it definitely feels like going through the motions, well… After a long week of BDing and after our last try for that cycle DH rolls over and cuddles me and in the sweetest most loving voice ever, kissed me on the cheeck and called me his “little cum dumpster”.  I literally howled with laughter! It was the most ridiculous thing he has ever said to me with the sweetest delivery, I laughed so hard I cried.

Once we got our BFP I gave him a little card with a picture of the positive test in it and gave it to him, he read it and then looked at me and said “really?  How do you know??”… I had to explain that the picture was of MY test, he thought I found one online or something.

Post # 78
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“If this doesn’t work we will keep practicing.”

“Batting practice is on, let me give you the balls.”

“Boom, that outta do it.”

Post # 79
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is a text I got that made me laugh out loud:

me: I got a positive OPK today!

DH: so that means I have to hit that right?


when I sent that he was working a double so I didn’t expect to see him until the next day. When he walked through the door early I asked him why he was home so soon and he said completely serious, “I heard my wife needed a ticket to pound town.” I laughed out loud! Afterward he kept saying hilarious phrases.

Heres a few gems:

“okay, think fertile thoughts!”

“dont you need to put your hips in the air or something?”

“Alright, now go make a baby” (talking at my stomach to his sperm)

“Just picture fertile things, like a sprouting plant or a cracking egg. Like in Jurassic park where the velociraptor comes out” *cue tiny dinosaur hands and raptor noises”

when i was rushing out the door for work I heard him yell one final time, “REMEMBER! FERTILE THOUGHTS” 

Post # 80
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This thread is amazing.  I read some to DH, and he is convinced he will say something stupid too.  We are just starting TTC, so maybe I’ll have something to add next week.  

Post # 81
1112 posts
Bumble bee

I called to make my doctor’s appointment to get my IUD taken out, and I made the call while we were in the car together. I hung up and he (joking obviously) was like, “WOW! I can’t believe you’re pregnant now! So crazy! I didn’t even have to do anything!” hah

Post # 83
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We are the exact opposite of TTC, but Fiance has made some pretty intriguing remarks about sperm. I usually tell him jokingly when it’s that time o’ the month, and when we were still semi-long distance and after a weekend of him staying over, I sent him the usual ‘not preggers’ update, and his response was “I’m so proud!!!” Of what, exactly? “You fought off all my super sperm buddies!!!” 

Post # 84
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
Equine_Breeder:  the ‘hitting that’ and ‘ticket to pound town’ make me laugh! 


My fiance and I have just started TTC (wedding in 3 weeks so.. what’s the difference?) and I’ve told him a few different things like the woman should raise her hips afterwards so gravity can help. Anyway, after the deed, he was exiting the bedroom as I was setting up my hip pillow and he calls out “Put your butt in the air!! Get my boys right up in yo business!!”



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