(Closed) Funny Things Kids Say

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I was thinking about this one recently – 

when my brother was younger, he had trouble with tr- and fr- words. 


So one morning he asked my mom if he could have f****** Flakes for breakfast. Then after Christmas service at church, our pastor asked him what Santa brought him. 

“a dum f***”  (dump truck)


my parents were pretty mortified. 

Post # 5
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah haha when my brother was 15 months or so he would tell everyone “I want to see a titty!”

We finally figured out that he was talking about the stray cat that sometimes came around the house, he was saying “I want to see a kitty.”

My daughter has been walking around the house going “I am so DONE!” because that is my default answer these days when everyone asks me how I’m feeling haha. This morning after she finished her breakfast I asked her how it was and she said “I am DONE with this mommy!”

Post # 7
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My niece is an interesting individual….if I can put it that way. She is 5.

My mother is single and so my husband and I will help around the house when need be. We were working on the yard when my lil niece ran up to me and started rambling, I did not understand what she was talking about, but I did pick up on this.

“I had a dream that the coffee table turned into an alligator and bit my head off, blood was going everywhere! and I was running around with no head!”

Post # 8
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

One night when I was hanging out with my two best friends and one of their young daughters, she said something that had us in stitches all night.

She was about 2 at the time and had a horrible cold, with a stuffy nose and strained voice.  That on top of the already hard to understand language of a 2 year old, and we had comedic gold.

She kept walking about saying what we thought was “I want c*ck, I want c*ck”.

Her mother was mortified, and we had to record it and send it to the girls father to see if he could understand what she was trying to say.

We realized later that we had bought a cake as a treat, and she was trying to tell us she wanted some!


Post # 9
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

A few years ago I was babysitting my little cousin who was 4 or 5 at the time.  She was playing Santa Claus and had her stuffed animals lined up, telling them what they were getting for Christmas.  One animal had apparently been naughty because she exclaimed, “…and YOU are getting nothing but a douchebag of coal for Christmas!!”

I thought I would DIE laughing.  I now tell Darling Husband every now and then that he will be getting a douchebag of coal for Christmas, it’s become a bit of a running joke. 😛

Post # 10
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

13 year old: This boy in my class kept asking me out and I kept telling him I didn’t know if I wanted to.  Next day he kept bugging and bugging me for an answer. (sighs) Men are so demanding!


Me: (holding back laughter) Men?  He’s a man?


13 year old: Yeah he’s a man. He’s got armpit hair so he’s a man!


Post # 11
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

While on the dance floor at our reception this weekend, DH’s son (he’s 6) asked if there was a baby in my belly yet. I told him no. He said “you have to make it first?”. I couldn’t even respond other than laugh. He’s obsessed with wanting a baby sister… He might not get that 🙂

Post # 12
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My sister was rushing to get ready upstairs while her 4 year old was downstairs at the door with my mom and I.

My sister was complaining about something or another loudly from upstairs, and my nephew looks at my mom and goes 

“Grandma, Mommy is sooooo dramatic. She does this when she wants attention.”

I’m pretty sure I laughed for like ten minutes straight.

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