(Closed) Funny/Random Things Your SO's Say

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

@rcac1208:  “What’s your DILL (deal), PICKLE?”

One night I was falling asleep in bed and he was watching tv quietly. He goes…

Him, quietly: “Babe. Baaabe”

Me, annoyed waking up: “What?!?!”

Him: “Aren’t Rambo’s bangs cool?”

Me: “Are you kidding me? That’s why you are waking me up?” Laughed, looked, agreed, rolled over, fell back asleep.

The next day I thought it was a dream until I asked (“did you really wake me to ask me if Rambo’s bangs were cool?”)

Post # 5
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@rcac1208:  Last night when I was complaining about cellulite, DH said “What is cellulite? Is that the stuff food is wrapped in?”

Oh yes, I’m so concerned about the presence of plastic-y paper that’s suddenly appeared on my thighs and butt.

Post # 7
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@rcac1208:  Haha, I know! Wouldn’t it be great to be a guy? Oh… to not know the meaning of the word cellulite….

Post # 8
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yesterday we were laying in bed cuddling and his hand was on my neck and I jokingly commented about how small my neck was compared to his hands and he says, “yeah, I could probably kill you with one finger; you’re very fragile and I’m very skilled.” Okay, I know this probably sounds creepy if you don’t know either of us, but it’s a running joke between us about how we have no idea how I’m still alive as a person. I’m incredibly clumsy, skinny with zero muscle mass, and a slew of health issues while he’s pretty much a super human (he jokes he can’t die – has fallen off 50ft cliffs before and walked away perfectly fine, was infantry special forces for years and got blown up multiple times breaking pretty much every bone in his body and spending months in the hospital and still runs marathons, sky dives, etc) while I’m literally the type of person who bruises if you touch me.

Another time he had fallen asleep before me and rolls over and goes, “baby why do you have a nasty banana in bed?” I was sooo confused but it turned out to be the dog’s rawhide he saw LOL

When we were dating I was living about an hour away with a roommate who was an exotic dancer (we had a pole in our living room and everything lol). Well I was watching his dog while he went out of town and one day I wake up to a text message from him saying, “Remember, he’s a good dog. I don’t want him coming home wanting to be a stripper.”

After we’d only been dating a short time, I agreed to go on a 3 week cross country skydiving vacation/road trip with him. Well I knew we’d be gone for three weeks so I packed accordingly. When we got to the first hostel he was unpacking his stuff and I noticed his clothing looked like he packed for a weekend trip and he only had like 5 pairs of underwear! I was teasing him for it and he goes “I honestly only even packed this many because I didn’t want you to think I was gross.” His excuse was he was planning on doing laundry while we were there…yeah, didn’t happen! lol

The morning I woke up to find him with his rock climbing gear about to repel off our 2nd story apartment balcony. 

The time I mentioned I was bloated because it was that time of the month and he thought that meant I had gas so everytime he has gas now he lifts his shirt up and rubs his belly and tells me he’s bloated. I keep telling him I was talking about retaining water, not having to fart lol! 

Also these pictures. I’m pretty much married to a tall, hairy 12 year old.

 

(I turned around for one minute and this happened. Our poor dog.)

 

Post # 9
Member
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Me: I can’t imagine how I would feel taking my first pregnancy test someday

Him: Yeah, that has to be such a long wait to get it out of the freezer. 

Me: What???

Him: What? Don’t you put it in the freezer or something?

Me: You don’t put a pregnancy test in the freezer! *laughing uncontrollably*

 

 

Same guy who tried to convince my dog that the kennel was a fun place to be. He is such a goober 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Mine has recently, in the last 2 weeks or so, started randomly pinching my cheeks and yells “chubby cheeks!!” all the time…liek when were about to go to bed, when we wake up, when we watch tv… I have no idea where this came from

Post # 13
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Lol I love this thread! My BF has started calling me “Honey Child” with the most exaggerated old lady Southern accent ever. It drives me CRAZY. I have no idea where he got it from. 

But last week, I called the kitten that we were pet-sitting a “cutie patootie” and he just cringed and said “Oh God, that’s terrible!”

So whenever he calls me Honey Child, I retaliate and call him Cutie Patootie. 😀 Revenge is sweet. Muahahaha. 

Post # 14
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

We were watching a comedy today and he paused in the middle of a joke to tell me that a key on my computer has three different paragraph signs.  Oook, and thanks?

Post # 15
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

These are cute. 

Me: “Thank God I’m not like I was back in the day. I used to get excruciating menstrual cramps in jr high and high school.”

FI: “Oh, I know what that’s like.”

Me: “…wait, what?”

FI: “It feels like a charlie horse, right? I used to get those during conditioning for football.”

Me: “…are you serious?”  

Post # 16
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

DH talks to the cats, which is pretty amusing to hear sometimes.

“Who’s a kitty?! YOU ARE!”

“Zoe, you’re a bad dog….but you’re a great kitty!”

 

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