(Closed) Future BIL Try to Ruin Honeymoon??

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: How should we approach fiance's brother about their choice of wedding dates?
    Call FBIL and tell him "congrats" but we won't be in attendance if they keep that date. : (10 votes)
    45 %
    Call FBIL and ask them to move their wedding date. : (2 votes)
    9 %
    Give up on calling and when they get around to asking us if we will be there, tell them no. : (10 votes)
    45 %
    Move our honeymoon date. : (0 votes)
    Other - please explain. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    Stick with your original plans. Don’t say anything about it.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    18644 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Honestly, since he isn’t answering your calls, I don’t think he would want to change his date.  And he knew beforehand that you two were getting married then.  So if it were me, I would book the honeymoon and tell them that you are sorry but because of your school situation you wouldn’t be able to take off any more time for a honeymoon.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Who exactly told you? Is this for definite? If Future Brother-In-Law isn’t picking up the phone I’d call Future Mother-In-Law and ask her straight out and let her know what the issue is – that it’s hard for you to get time off and you and FH want to go away that week for honeymoon, etc etc. It may be that Future Brother-In-Law has taken into account that you and FH may go away that week and aren’t bothered that you won’t be able to be there.

    Post # 7
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee

    whoa.  That is not good!  Sounds really selfish of them.

    This is really tough though because it is family and you kind of have to be there for them (regardless if they are a hot mess right now).  At the same time, that should be your week!!! I think that all family should know not to plan anything with 2 weeks before or after your big day – especailly 2 weeks after.  Pretty rude.  But, I would not book until you chat with him…please let us know what happens…

    Post # 8
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Until he gets around to telling you the date of their wedding, you should just keep your plans as they are.  And if the date does end up being 4 days after your wedding, then they should understand why you can’t be there.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    In that case I agree with MissAB, book your honeymoon and get FH to tell Future Mother-In-Law and ask that she tell Future Brother-In-Law as he’s not returning your calls. As you said, you have been planning this so it’s not going to come as much of a shock to them….

    Post # 10
    Member
    1037 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

    Ouch. I’m so sorry to hear this…it is not an easy situation to say the least! That is so disappointing that your BIL isn’t being conscientious enough to schedule his wedding a reasonable amount of time after or before yours! If he isn’t answering your calls and doesn’t want to talk about the issue, I don’t know what else you can do! If you already have the honeymoon scheduled, that would be so disappointing to rearrange it. I’m not much help…I’m sorry! But I hope you do get it figured out; make sure to let us know!

    Post # 11
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’m sorry to hear of your tough situation.  I was in a wedding where the bride’s brother proposed AFTER the bride’s husband, but had their wedding BEFORE the bride’s (the brother & his wife are just LIKE THAT).  Consequently, many people chose to attend the brother’s, but could not afford to come to Chicago 2x’s to attend the Bride’s wedding.  Plus her sister dropped out as a Bridesmaid or Best Man b/c of a c-section (understandable).  My Father-In-Law threw a family reunion THE DAY AFTER our wedding!  I know it was to save people plane fare, but let’s just say I had to majorly cut on my side (I have 4 siblings and a innumerable relatives-3rd & 4th cousins due to my Irish heritage, & he is an only child.) to accomodate much of his family whom neither of us had ever met.  The reunion was nice, but it kind of stole our thunder.  Who the hell wants to go to a picnic at 11A the day after their wedding??  It spoiled our plans for an after-wedding brunch, so we had a small breakfast (just 4 of us) & had to rush around all morning (after waking up super early-the hotel extended our check-out time as newlyweds, but we couldn’t take advantage) picking up our dogs, returning our rental car (Porsche-yay!), yada yada.  In other words, I feel for you (this was not meant to turn into the eileen show-I just never got a chance to get it out.  I don’t resent my inlaws-they had NO ill intentions-they had no idea the trouble their reunion caused.)  It is VERY inconsiderate for you Future Brother-In-Law to tell EVERYONE else the date, but not you two considering he’s standing up for you.  It’s prob b/c he knows it isn’t right to have his wedding so close to yours (to make Out of Town guests choose betweent the two, but maybe some guests can make a week trip out of it and go to both??)  Not to play the devil’s advocate, but I kind of think you should be the bigger people though (not excusing what they did) and maybe postpone your honeymoon 1 week.  You & Fiance prob don’t have school in the summer, so what’s another week?  It is hard to change a wedding date, & maybe somehow the date is meaningful to them?? Since it sounds like a less formal affair, I would try to discuss the situation & see if they’re amenable to changing the date-just reasonably explain your situation.  It would be such a shame for your Fiance not to attend his brother’s wedding or for there to be an all-our “war” over it.  Good luck!!

    Post # 12
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    … not cool, bro (literally). Since at this point no one has told you anything you’re supposed to know, I’d just go ahead with your plans. Heck, even after you officially find out, I’d keep the original date. He’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want you to know. 

    The topic ‘Future BIL Try to Ruin Honeymoon??’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors