(Closed) future BIL’s “girlfriend”…old enough to be my MIL (vent ugh!)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmm…. it’s hard to watch someone you love being used.  If she’s truly like this, hopefully he’ll come to his senses soon.

Post # 4
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

Be careful.  She might eventually end up here, relaying stories about how her SIL-to-be obviously hates her.

If she’s that bad, maybe he’ll come to see it in time (once he’s drowning in debt).  Until then, lay low and be ready to support him when he comes to his senses.

And only get them one present, signed by both you and your man.  Never give in to unreasonable demands, and never feed a gimme-pig.

Post # 5
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Grr! She sounds like a total butt. Hopefully he comes to his senses!  

 

(Because this is a vent, I responded accordingly vs. giving advice. I know what it’s like to dislike someone and have to keep your mouth shut. Yuck.)

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh yeah, I agree… definitely just one present from both of you.  Assuming you don’t give separate gifts to anybody else, why should she get special treatment?

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

She’s a cougar just teaching a boy some new tricks. ^_^ There are two sides to every story. Future Brother-In-Law obviously doesn’t have a problem with her because he’s still around. ^_^

Post # 9
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

that is shitty. It is sad to see someone stick around in a toxic relationship when you’re unable to say anything : I’ve seen my fair share and it never ends well.

Post # 10
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well I can see how it is annoying.  I know you aren’t asking for advice here. So I’ll just say what came to mind when I read this. You feel bad for him no? It does seem like this lady is using him, and it seems awfully wierd that she is dating someone her own childs age. However, your BIL is an adult, and can make his own decisions despite if they’re  mistakes or not.

Also, in your saying, “I just hate the whole thing because she never lets him hang out with us alone anymore, and we definately don’t want to hang out with her.”

Ever thought that maybe he just doesn’t like his gf being excluded?! You really don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship. He obviously loves her, and there has got to be a reason other than “she gives him attention”. Whether or not you are cordial to her, does not mean they don’t feel the despise you have for this woman.

 I am just trying to let you know how I see this situation. Please don’t take offense. Vent all you need. But there’s more to a story then just how shitty of a person this lady is. There is substance to all of us.

Post # 11
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

WOW this would be hard to watch for anyone.  She is his parents age!!  Stay strong and I would add her name to his gift. 

Post # 12
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Return the very nice shirt and wallet. Buy em a few Lean Cuisine entrees and address em to them both. Oh! And with a Christmas bow! Happy Holidays!

Post # 13
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ugh, sorry you have to sit and watch that go down.  Nothing worse than seeing a loved one get used.  She doesn’t sound like that much of a catch, I wonder how she managed to get that kind of grip on him?

Post # 14
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

My Fiance is only a few years younger than my mother. I wouldn’t hate on someone just for the age difference. Maybe she does really love him? And she’s obviously giving him something he can’t get elsewhere.

Post # 15
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I can’t imagine keeping my mouth shut, if it were my brother, i guess if it was SO’s bro i’d keep it shut. 

Post # 16
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Geesh.  I would be so tempted to buy her a passive aggressive present, like a book on how to find a job for dummies or a yoga mat so she can get off her lazy butt!

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