(Closed) Future Bro-In-Law set date 3 weeks after ours, were considering rescheduling =[

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I change my wedding date?
    Yes! Bump it up a few months! You still have plenty of time! : (37 votes)
    61 %
    Yes! Push it back awhile. You don't want to rush the planning process : (0 votes)
    No. Three weeks between the two weddings is No Big Deal. : (23 votes)
    38 %
    Other (explain please!) : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    3539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Aww chickee! thats no good!

    I say change your date.. your reasons are valid and there very good. September isnt a bad time of the year, I hope you havent booked your venue already or paid deposits.

    as for the brother… GRRR CHUCKA GRRR…

    My brother did the same, got engaged 3 weeks after I did and then set the date 2 weeks before ours.. so we changed the date, luckily it was early on in the engagement so it wasnt too stressful, we moved ours to august this year and very glad we did!

    Your coping really well!

    Post # 6
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    i voted no, but b/c (after briefly reading your other post) sounds as though his wedding may not even take place, doesn’t sound like the most reputable guy!!  and no matter what Future Mother-In-Law is saying right now, oohing and awing over his engagement, everyone, including her, will see in the long run that he’s a mess, you and your Fiance are not, your marriage will last, your home, your job, etc, and he will be in the same place he is now.  only it won’t be ya’lls problem!  i know its alot to deal with; i have similar stories to this in my own family.  but focus on YOUR wedding, smile and nod at the other talk.  good luck!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I am sorry you are having to go through this. I would be a wreck too. I agree with ccrane; change your date. You will be much happier. I really hope this works out well for you and your fiance.

    Also, I would have kicked him out too.

    Post # 8
    Member
    144 posts
    Blushing bee

    That’s a jerk move!  I’m very sorry to hear that you’re going through that.  Could your Fiance maybe talk to him about why they picked the date?  It may be best just to move your date so you don’t get further sucked into his drama.  He sounds like he doesn’t really have his life together. 

    Good luck! Don’t let this ruin your wedding planning!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2397 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Deep breaths!  This is a tough situation and I feel for you.  I do think that you have plenty of time to plan your wedding if you’re thinking about getting married in September.  I got engaged in September, planning a June wedding, which is 9 months.  It’s totally, totally doable and you have plenty of time, IMO.  You just need to decide soon, so you can start booking.

    I get where you’re coming from regarding the “comparing” of your wedding vs your FBILs.  However, I don’t think this is going to be much of an issue since your wedding is before his wedding.  If it really, bugs you, then just move it up to avoid any drama or negative feelings.  I hope everything works out!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    Ugh, that’s horrible! I’d be so upset! You haven’t booked anything or paid any deposits yet, right? I’d definitely move it up, especially if you have Out of Town guests who would have to choose between weddings. I’m so sorry this is happening – so stressful!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Oh Snake, I am so sorry to hear about this.  I remember how upset you were when they first got engaged.  I know it isn’t a competition for you, but I’m not sure your Future Brother-In-Law got the memo.  I think that it would save you a lot of heartache if you moved your wedding to a sooner date.  All the reasons you listed make sense.  I think you need your day and shouldn’t be anywhere near their special day.   What does your Fiance think about changing the dates? Are you worried about what Future Mother-In-Law will say/think?

    Post # 12
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Oh Snake, I am so sorry to hear about this.  I remember how upset you were when they first got engaged.  I know it isn’t a competition for you, but I’m not sure your Future Brother-In-Law got the memo.  I think that it would save you a lot of heartache if you moved your wedding to a sooner date.  All the reasons you listed make sense.  I think you need your day and shouldn’t be anywhere near their special day.   What does your Fiance think about changing the dates? Are you worried about what Future Mother-In-Law will say/think?

    Post # 13
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    oh baby girl I’m so sorry!! that is soo stressful and I’m so sorry you have to go through that…but you know what, it’s less than 5 months to my wedding date and I have hardly anything done, you have plenty of time to plan for September! And that’s a BEAUTIFUL month to get married no matter where you live.

    good luck hon.

     

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