- 10 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Ok guys so I’m feeling pretty emotional. My Fiance & I got engaged and it turns out so is his brother. His family has been going through some crazy emotions about it all — starting with disbelief, anger and now working on acceptance. At first his family had no idea where he was coming from getting engaged– he’s jobless & living at home, but now they are in full fledged support mode. When they told us they were engaged I was a bit confused and angry but I honestly have come around and am trying to plan accordingly and make best with what I have/be supportive of future brother and law. I have posted about it here before but the issues just have not gotten any better.
We can’t sit at lunch with Future In-Laws and talk about details without (in the same breathe) Bro-in-laws wedding being mentioned, like a tennis match. (i.e Me: “well, here is my engagement ring:— BAM Future Mother-In-Law:”well here is hers”) At first i went with it, i get it– weddings are fun to plan, but now I am just so annoyed. I want and need to know several of the aspects his brother is planning on so that we can plan accordingly. They kept tight lipped about a date, who they wanted to invite (you know family wise)… just details like that. Now just yesterday we find out the date they have set is a mere 3 weeks after ours in April 2011.
I’m not exactly okay with this and i think most of you wouldn’t be, either. A cousin getting married– a coworker– maybe.. but not brothers. So of course we can’t ask them to move their wedding (as tempting as throwing a fit might be! kidding..) so we’re thinking of bumping ours up to September of this year… for a few reasons:
1.) I just want a little separation with the two weddings– I would like my special time, as i hope them to have theirs.
2.) Any family that we want to invite from out of town will have about 8 months before having to travel again– if they were 3 weeks apart a lot of family will have to choose which to attend.
3.) If we decided we didn’t want certain relatives of his there we wouldnt AS terrible seeing them 3 weeks later as they say WHY DIDNT YOU INVITE USSSSS. I’m sorry, maybe you’re strong enough to put up with that but I just don’t think I can handle it. I’d like to invite everyone but on our budget its just not feasible and well.. hearing this just might bring me to tears =[
1.) three weeks is so close its so easy to do the comparisons in my mind. We are funding our wedding whereas future brother in laws fiancee parents have the big bucks and well— wedding envy? Is that ridic to say?
2.) The gushing over either couple, amongst the family. Even if we were to be right after them I wouldnt want to pull away any attention from them. Being engaged is one thing but can you imagine trying to enjoy your wedding day when you hear constant whispers about how beautiful the flower arrangements sound for the wedding just a few weeks away.
Anyhow I know I probably seem delusional but honestly something has to change and its going to have to be us. I’m not going to lie its been hard. REAL hard dealing with this. Many of you previously said I was just jealous of future Brother-In-Law and really I am to the extent that my Future Mother-In-Law is making it feel like a competition. We got along so well (and really still do) before either of us got engaged but she thinks we were too hard on him for kicking him out (ummm hello he ordered NARCOTICS to the house- not cool!) and instead of trying to “ground him” with values and all that gushy mess he’s just been walking all over them, taking money, selling drugs and wrecking their home in the process.
*sigh* i really need to take a nice, long breathe and relax. My wedding will turn out great no matter when it is, i know that. I wish it was easier to explain in text what is going on but hey, c’est la vie. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated, really. Thanks for being my stress reliever for the night bees. 🙂