(Closed) Future Brother-in-law and Sister Seem Upset that I'm Engaged Too

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m not much help as I haven’t been in the same boat as you, my siblings being a fair bit older. But maybe it’s becasue its still new, she might feel you’ve stolen some thunder from her engagement even if you didn’t mean to. Give it some time, and some time for her to think about it and hopefully after a while she’ll get past it and see how seperate your weddings and engements were. Might take her a little while to get past it but if in a few months time and it’s still the same another talk might be good, and requesting it to be full honesty so she tells you everything. Kind of feels like she’s holding back a little to try not hurt your feelings, but is unconsiously showing it via her body language and going silent

Post # 3
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your sister is being an ass. The whole stealing thunder bit, whether the engagement is new or not, is petty and ridiculous. She must be very speshl since no one in your family should get engaged within MONTHS of her engagement. <rolleyes> 

Post # 4
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Temecula, California

WOW! It sounds like you and your fiancé are trying to be VERY considerate of your sister’s wedding when trying to plan your own and she is not being considerate of you at all.

I’m sorry you have to go through this when it is supposed to be such an exciting time. Your sister got to be excited…but you don’t?  You were there and was excited for her… but she can’t be there or excited for you?  Your sister is being very selfish.

It sounds like you aren’t able to enjoy your engagement because you are worried about your sister’s feelings about you or your wedding. It also sounds like she is going to be pissed no matter what for whatever selfish reason. At this point why wait a year after their wedding if they are acting this way? Tell her to get over herself. This is your time too. 

Post # 5
91 posts
Worker bee

I’m sorry OP. This should be a happy time for both of you. I don’t have advice. Just wanted to give some support. 

Maybe you could have a one-on-one talk with her after a little while. Just let her know your feelings and that you didn’t ever intend to steal their thunder (though personally I don’t even get this. Why can’t people be happy for two couples at the same time? Can the world only revolve around one at a time? Lol). 

Post # 6
221 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
dariaanne:  Girl, first off congrats. Secondly, your sister is just being a spoiled brat. So both my sister’s are fairly younger than I, so I didn’t have this situation. However, I had a friend (no longer my friend) who bought her house right before I got engaged. (She bought in November, I got engaged December.) So when I got engaged she was mad because she thought I was trying to “one up” her. When in reality my Fiance was ready to ask me, and her SO was not nor will he ever be, he doesn’t want to get married. So her jealousy got the best of her and after months of her negativity I just stopped talking to her…….it’s different for your family. Be HAPPY you’re engaged and don’t let ANYONE take that from you. You’re sister will get over it, and if she doesn’t…..its her loss not yours.

Post # 7
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
dariaanne:  im sorry. thats a super bummer. ;-( i have not experianced this but before DH and i were engaged his parents put a lot of pressure on us to get married. it was unnerving. his dad would introduce me as his DIL and people would say “omg you guys got married?” and i would have to say nope….. ackward. not even engaged yet…. yep. but anywho after we were engaged his parents were really stand offish. They were not involed in any of the planning and acted as if it was an inconvenient wedding. his mother was jolly during the wedding but his dad wasnt and they were even like almost two hours last to the reception. ill never know why… but ive always been hurt by that. its really too bad when family should be there to support you, esp when you try to support them and they just crap out. all you can do is kill her with kindness and keep on trucking.

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