(Closed) Future brother inlaw

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t approach them at all. If they get married before you do, what’s the harm? That actually gives you a chance to see what they do, and avoid any little mistakes they might make. As an example, we attended a friend’s wedding in May (they got engaged about 2 months after us and married 4 months before us but we did’t mind) and opted to have only one processional song for the entire bridal party based on their use of two, and how it really dragged out the time in between the bridesmaids’ entry and the bride’s.

The only thing that I think would be fair to bring up would be to ask if both couples could keep their potentially overlapping guest lists in mind when setting dates so that there aren’t two potential travel days too close together which may place an unfair financial burden on your guests.

But apart from that, there’s no reason to insist that your wedding happen first or fear that theirs happens first.

Post # 4
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’d be alittle worried about traveling guests pocketbooks so you might want to discuss this with them. If they got married at the end of this year, I wouldn’t see any problems with it because there would be some time apart.

Post # 5
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Yeah, I wouldn’t sweat about it. I’m marrying into a family with a petty Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law, so I do understand where you’re coming from.

Let them get married first if they wish. I don’t know about approaching them about the spacing of the weddings – although ideally the weddings would be at least a few months apart so that guests can get time off from work/save up to attend.

We actually got engaged 8 months after one of our friends (they had been together 6 months, we were together nearly 4 years when we got engaged) but we will be getting married a month before them. He teased us about this, and I quickly shot it down. We did it because of pricing, because it was long enough after FSIL’s baby will be born, and because we didn’t want a long engagement. Maybe there are practical reasons behind your FBIL’s insistence on getting married sooner…at least, let’s hope.

If not, just sit and in your mind pity the poor guy who is so insecure that he has to beat his brother and future sister-in-law to the altar.



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