(Closed) Future daughter in law

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 47
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

3 years ago they cancelled the wedding because you “took over.” They’re probably trying to avoid that again, I’m sure. They are probably trying to avoid drama by keeping it to themselves. I would suggest giving them space to avoid causing any more stress/tension. Just let her know you are there for her if she needs anything. I wouldn’t add “finding someone to do your hair” to her list of things, just find someone yourself. Getting married is stressful, I think if you can make things as easy as possible for her, you have a better chance at maintaining a positive relationship with them after the wedding.

Post # 48
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

PolkaDotBandit:  I remember the one from the groom’s father, who was whining and moaning that the bride and her family were doing and planing everything. He also made a duplicate-type post, under another user name, and got the same reaction (that he didn’t want to hear). 

Go figure? Right?

Post # 49
Member
2340 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

[content moderated for name calling]

 

Post # 50
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

[content moderated for name calling/personal attack]

Post # 51
Member
4244 posts
Honey bee

I mean, IF this is real you’re clearly being unreasonable, but some of you bees are so mean 🙁 

The MOG just needs to show up? Doesn’t get to know wedding details? Isn’t as important as the MOB? No wonder so many of you have “terrible” MILs.

Post # 52
Member
6751 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ClaudiaKishi:  Did we read the same original post? This isn’t about MOGs in general, this is about this MOG in particular. I love my FMIL–she’s welcome to be involved in anything she likes with me. But she’s sane and understands boundaries.

This couple canceled their first wedding BECAUSE OF HER and she was happy! She doesn’t like the bride and yet wonders why she isn’t invited to attend the bridal expo…

My boys are still teenagers, I won’t have to worry about weddings for a while, and I already know that as MOG it’s not up to me to decide what my involvement will or won’t be in my sons’ weddings. And I’m okay with that!

Post # 53
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

ediekn84:  

#1 My Future Mother-In-Law was not invited to look at venues nor was she consulted. She was told where we were going to have the wedding. 

#2 Did  not give my fmil any choice in a date, it was up to us and when the venue was availible 

#3 LOVE my Future Mother-In-Law would not invite her to a wedding expo. I would go alone or maybe with another engaged friend. 

#4 She is probably vauge about plans because she doesn’t want you to bully your way in and take over like last time. 

#5 “Every time I suggest something, she just smiles and says good idea” Sounds nice to me. 

#6 “She won’t tell me what her wedding dress looks like, never mind let me see it” – No one but my mother and I have or will see my dress before the day of. (Aside from Hair and MUA who will be advising me on what style would fit best.) That and strangers on the bee. 

#7 I wouldn’t say you are automatically included in the get ready. And if she wants to invite you then awesome. She may not even know the logistics of what will be happening yet anyway.

You are not as “important as her mom and her maid of honour” to her, yes to your son. But unelss you two are super close (Doesn’t sound like it) then no. At no wedding that I was in did the MOG get ready with the bride and MOB 

my .02

 

 

Post # 54
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Yeah…. if this is real : I didn’t invite my Mother-In-Law, nor did I feel the need to invite my Mother-In-Law, to any of our pre-wedding things such as selecting venue, bridal expos, consulting on wedding date, etc. My husband and I made all of those decisions along with my parents (mostly my mom), as they were paying for our wedding, and even then they wrote us a giant check in the beginning for the wedding and let us do our own thing. I did invite my Mother-In-Law to get ready with us the morning-of, which she graciously declined, but that’s about it. I feel I should mention that my Mother-In-Law and I don’t and haven’t ever had a strained relationships either, we get along quite well together.

Post # 55
Member
4244 posts
Honey bee

beethree:  I pretty clearly said OP is unreasonable. I’m talking about other comments people in the thread have made.

Post # 56
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

ediekn84:  If they cancelled the wedding first time around because they felt you overstepped your boundaries, I’m not surprised that they’re telling you nothing now – clearly, they’re worried the same thing is going to happen again. You might be upset, but you need to understand that it’s not your wedding, you’re not paying for it so you don’t really have a right to have any say or knowledge unless they decide you can.

Some of the points you’ve listed are really things that you shouldn’t be getting so bent out of shape over – I didn’t ask my Future Mother-In-Law to come look at the venue (I didn’t ask my parents either), I won’t be asking my Future Mother-In-Law to attend any wedding fairs with me, and I won’t be asking my Future Mother-In-Law to get ready with me the morning of the wedding (she has her own family, not to mention my Fiance, to do that with). She doesn’t have to show you her wedding dress or describe what it looks like. And, if you’re not contributing financially, they don’t have to tell you any of their plans. Yes, it would have been nice for them to ask you if the date was suitable but I’m guessing that they didn’t want to open the door for you to stick your nose in. Has your FDIL recommended or found you someone to do your hair the morning of the wedding? If so, then she’s done exactly as you asked and you can’t really fault her for that.

Post # 57
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 60
Member
7434 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I feel like the only issue here is that they didn’t ask you about the date. All that other stuff would be nice to be included in but I didn’t include my Mother-In-Law the any of it.

The topic ‘Future daughter in law’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors