(Closed) Future In Law HELP

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it should be your Fiance decision, i think if he wants his Dad there he should explain to his mom how he feels and hope she is understanding a wedding is for a couple of days and their issues are between them.  Similar situation with my Fiance family one half does not want the other parent and family there and we told them they have a right to their opinion but its ultimately up to my Fi and if someone doesn’t like the decision he makes and can’t put feelings aside for one day then they do not have to come. 

I dont think restraining orders can be lifted for the day, and I don’t know your Future Mother-In-Law but will she call the cops if your Fi dad comes? You also don’t want him to be thrown in jail for breaking the order on your wedding day!

Good luck, keep updated 🙁 

Post # 5
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

so very typical-the do nothing approach done by many of our wonderful SO/FI/DH Tongue Out

I hope he makes a decision soon then, or at least goes and talk to them both to try to avoid hurt feelings and/or regrets

Good Luck! id love to see what the other bees think-hugs

Post # 6
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Leaving aside the wedding, what I don’t understand is why Fiance hasn’t contacted his father in 6 months. He doesn’t need to tell his mother that he’s talking to his father.

As for his father at the wedding – I don’t know, but I’m guessing that depends on the reasons for the restraining order.

His mother should have no say in whether FI’s father’s relatives can come to the wedding.

My parents divorced after my marriage but my sister and brother both negotiated weddings by keeping them apart and trusting them to behave. But there was no restraining order to deal with there (just a lot of hate!)

Post # 7
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@denvermaybride:  It’s definitely your FIs decision, I think you know that.  If he enjoys walking the path of least resistance then he’s going to have to deal with whatever happens as a result.  He can step up, talk to his Mom, and upset her.  Or he can continue going incommunicado with his Dad, not invite him, and upset him.  He can’t piss and moan about it but do nothing. 

Post # 9
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@denvermaybride:  “his dad also did some bad stuff to us and ended up in jail for a while”

Oh wow. This is way outside my experience. But my feeling is that dad has blown his chance to be at the wedding. Forgiving him (which I believe in too!) doesn’t mean he has the right to be at your wedding if he’s done bad (criminal) stuff to you, Fiance and his mum.

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