- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I have been dating my fiance for two years. Absolutely everybody in my family adores him, which is wonderful, and they all took to him immediately. I do get along well with most members of my fiance’s family, such as his mother, stepmother, stepsiblings, and brother, but his father in particular does not like me. He has literally never asked me a single question about myself in the two years we have been dating. Not one. (Such as, “what are you majoring in in school?” or “What are your career goals?”) Literally nothing. For all he could care, I would be a brick wall.
To give a little background, I had take some time off from school, so I am finishing up my undergrad. I am almost 24, so I don’t think his dad’s objection is my age. My fiance lives at home, so it is not as if I have only met his father a few times. The first time I met his dad, apparently he told my fiance that he thought he could do better, and that I am not attractive enough for him. (And to put this in perspective, his father is about 5’3, and very overweight.)
Basically, I just get the impression that he doesn’t engage me in conversation because he doesn’t even think I am worth his time to speak with. At one point, I made some peace with it because I thought he might be this way with girls my age in general. However, recently at a family event my fiance’s brother brought his girlfriend home and his dad spent a lot of time talking with her. Clearly he just doesn’t like me, and he thinks his son can do better.
Today I was over with my fiance and my mom visiting his grandmother. My mom told my grandmother how thrilled she is to have him as her son in law, and how much she loves him. She smiled politely and said, “I don’t know your daughter very well, but my grandson loves her.” It wasn’t an outright insult, but I was hurt. I often go with my fiance to visit her. I listened, with genuine interest, to many of her family stories, and saw old pictures of hers. If she hasn’t learned about me, it is because, again, she has never asked any questions about me, but she has had so many opportunies to ask them if she was interested on visits. However, she clearly wasn’t interested. By now, she would know if she liked me or not. You would think she would like me just based on what I think is the kindness I have shown. I guess I didn’t mention that his grandmother is Jewish- and of course, I am not. On that count alone, maybe she would never really like me.
I just needed to vent. 🙁 I am so sick of being judged and falling up short. I love my fiance so much and I know I will marry him, but I never thought I would be marrying into a family that would make me this uncomfortable and feel so worthless.