(Closed) Future In-Law Problems. I’m losing it.

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: In your experience is this normal for a relationship with your in-laws?
    Of course not. This is extreme and should not be happening. : (37 votes)
    90 %
    Sometimes, but it will blow over. : (2 votes)
    5 %
    Always. In-Laws have a hard time dealing with losing authority. : (0 votes)
    Sometimes, but it's not something that will last forever. They will get over it. : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5242 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Ughh! How annoying! In-laws can be super annoying sometimes but you need to realize that they are the parents of the man you love and you should avoid any type of confrontation with them and just let ut blow over. As for for Future Sister-In-Law she seems very immature and I would just ignore her.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    before you have another sit down chew out. u and ur fiance need to start the conversation. all four of you should be GROWN UP RESPECTFUL adults…

    before anytype of conversation is going to start there are to be ground rules. no raising of voices, no interupting eachother, no name calling, no disrespectful comments, if you can not agree to these terms no conversation will happen. ur fiance needs to get a back bone and stand by you as well.

     

    so sorry you are going through this

    Post # 5
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    This sounds like it’s gotten too big- I feel like you need a moderator or family counseling- at any rate, like asianyoushi suggests, set some ground rules. Not sure from the post- do you all live close enough you can have a conversation in person?

    Post # 6
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Sorry, but he either needs to stand up them or walk away. Being with someone shouldn’t be this hard, and unless you really are a piece of shit like his family is making you out to be, then they are the problem. So tell him to put his big boy pants on and demand respect for you, or they will no longer speak to them. And he needs to stick to his guns

    Post # 7
    Member
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    What happened to just telling family members that cause unending problems to just “fuck off”?

    Seriously, I’ll deal with a lot of crap from people, but not on this level. The first time his sister started her crybaby whining, he should have told her to fuck off and leave him alone, that he wasn’t playing into her childish drama.

    Post # 8
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    Wow…If I were in your shoes, I would refuse to participate or negotiate. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. Try to stop caring about what they call you/accuse you of/think about you. It’s only going to drive you crazy and you aren’t going to change their mind– they’ve decided how they’re going to see you and that’s it. The best thing you can do at this point (in my opinion) is stay uninvolved and not give them any more to pummel you with.

    Good luck, OP! Hopefully some other bees will have more first hand experience for you!

    Post # 9
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee

    I just have to share in that I had a very very very oh so very similar circumstance happen to me. I survived it 3 years before I had to leave. I am finally, after a year seperation, about to divorce my first husband. I am not saying that is how your situation will pan out, I just ask you think very hard about entering into this marriage knowing this family will be apart of your life forever. I am so very sorry you are going through this. This is unacceptable! They are being very rude, controling and crazy for lack of better words! Your Fiance needs to stand up to his family dispite his discomfort; this could, overtime, run your marriage/engagement into the ground. Unfortunatly for me, my husband choose to not stand beside me. I wish you the best! 🙂

    ETA: PM me if you wish to speak about things further, or just to vent. I am fairly confident I know where you are at and how you are feeling. And I am incredibly sorry for what they are putting you through.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4327 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    Your Fiance is enabling them by agreeing to all their stupid little conference calls. He needs to stand up for himself, and for you. “You teach people how to treat you.” He’s doing that by telling them over and over that it’s ok, through his actions, and lack of correcting them. THey treat him like a 15 year old because he lets them. 

    end of story.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    these people sound awful. i wish i had good advice for you, but all i can say is that this is most definitely not normal behavior. i think in-laws can be quirky and overbearing, sure, but this is pretty much abusive and volitile behavior from a group of “adults”…

    Post # 12
    Member
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Paigey:  +1 

    You guys are adults.  I get it, your Fiance loves his family, but you two are becoming a family now and he needs to protect that dynamic from outside drama.  I have an insane family.  I love them, I’m loyal to them, but I keep my distance and definitely don’t let them interfere with Fiance and I. 

    These “chew out” sessions are juvenille.  It sounds like they have nothing else to do but sit around and complain and your Future Sister-In-Law is the ring leader. 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @Paigey:  yes! ugh, i always feel like I am in the minority on these boards, it totally blows my mind what people will put up with from family members just because they are “family”.  Family is what you make of it, blood and marriage be damned

    Post # 14
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Paigey:  that’s awesome, I was thinking the same thing the entire time I was reading this.

     

    I only have so much patience for ridiculous behavior before I write people off for good. You are a grown woman and are in no way shape or form obligated to communicate in ANY WAY with people who act like this. Conference calls…geez.

    The topic ‘Future In-Law Problems. I’m losing it.’ is closed to new replies.

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