(Closed) Future In Law problems

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well this won’t help everything but you could hide their posts on facebook that way you won’t have to read them, and be bothered by that. All the other stuff, I don’t really know what advice to offer.

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you’re honestly about to throw up over a facebook status, your therapist is right that you need to ignore them – there is no reason to let their lives or facebook statuses have such a dramatic effect on you. I guess I’m just not really getting the problem here…sure, them making everything a competition is annoying, but it’s something I’d roll my eyes at and get over pretty easily. It’s certainly not a reason for your Fiance to stop being friendly with his own brother. The abuse is much more worriesome, although you seem more annoyed than you do concerned.

You’re right that it shouldn’t bother you so much. It’s difficult with the limited information given here, but it seems like there has to be something else going on here, because them being overly competitive just does not sound like a big enough deal for the kind of reaction you’re having.

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@glittermoon: Whoa, okay, NOT cool that your fiance is friendly with his brother now that I know he actually texted that to you! What did your Fiance do when that happened??

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

EDIT: I’m sorry, i completely missed the part where you explained how amazing you fiance’s parents are. For some reason i thought you said his brother was the only person in his family he had a relationship with. All i can say now is…Ignore it, as much as you don’t like that advice.

Post # 8
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

#1 Stop trying to manipulate your FI’s relationship with his brother.  It’s his business and has nothing to do with you.

#2 You don’t have to be “Friendly” and “Cordial” to them.  When they are present, you only need to be POLITE.  If they get crazy, leave.  Not in a huff, just remove yourself from the situation, calmly.

#3 Your therapist is right, the only person you can control is YOU.  You choose how to react and you choose what feelings you focus on.  Quit giving these people, whom you don’t even LIKE so much POWER over you.  They only have what you let them have.

#4 Make your Fiance responsible for his family.  If they are rude to you, attack you, talk about you, make HIM deal with them i.e. defend his woman.

#5 Be GRATEFUL that you are going to have a wonderful Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law.  I would have killed for that!

#6 Be HAPPY!  You’re marrying the man you love soon!

#7 If you really can’t get over this, don’t marry this guy.  Because this is going to be your LIFE forever.  These people are going to be your children’s aunt and uncle and you will be their children’s aunt.  If you can’t handle that, get out NOW.

Post # 10
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

You don’t have to delete them from facebook. Just hide their threads so you don’t have to see them. My friend has a mother in law that Im sure is the devil incarnate. She has done everything to get along with her. Now. She just ignores her. She doesn’t engage in conversations. She doesn’t associate with her. If they meet, she says hi, politely, and that’s it. Don’t say a word and just be polite. The other ladies are right, you need to ignore them. Because in the end, the only person whose day is being ruined is you. Whether or not you’re angry or upset isn’t gonna occur to them. Just be as happy as you can be, tolerate them, go home and be glad you aren’t like them. I know it’s hard. But it’ll get easier in time.

Post # 11
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I know exactly how you feel, because I am dealing with the same.  I cannot stand my Future Brother-In-Law or Future Sister-In-Law and they both make me want to vomit or commit murder.

Post # 12
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@glittermoon: Just concentrate on your life with your fiancee and ignore them the best you can

HUGS

 

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