- 10 years ago
- Wedding: May 2009
Ok Bees, I have a situation that I am at my wits end with and I need your advice. Brace yourself, this is going to be a long one….
I have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 years. We are getting married on May 2, 2009 (yikes 7 moths to go!). I love him to death, but his family drives me insane! They are the most backward, uncommunicative family I have ever met!
Now I moved into my fiance’s house in the middle of August, happy times right? Well maybe, if his 30 year old brother wasn’t living with us!!
Now some background on this situation: 4 years ago my finace bought his current house. He really wanted to live in a certain area and may have bought a little too expensive of a house. He had just sold his condo and had a nice down payment of $30,000, but when it came down to it he did not have the money for the closing costs of the loan (which was $13,000. seems a little steep to me, but that is a different conversation). So, my fiance got the money fromhis brother. His brother was living with his parents at the time and my fiance saw this as a way to get the $$ he needed and get his brother out of his parents house. So, the money was borrowed, the house was bought and the brother moved in. For the first 3 years the brother paid $500 a month to live there. The mortgage cost $1700 a month and of course there are utilities too (which the brother felt free to control), but all he ever paid was $500 a month. And the brother never actually paid that money directly to my fiance. You see, my fiance’s dad is a painter and the brother works for him, so the dad would just pay the money to my fiance and deduct it from the brother’s check. And he never paid on time.
So, my fiance had a friend move into the basement of the house. This friend paid $300 a month and most months that money saved my fiance because the brother’s part of the rent was never paid on time, sometimes not at all. About a year ago my fiance had a conversation with his brother about the $13,000 and how things were going to be changing. He offered to pay his brother $20,000. His brother turned it down. He said he considered the house a long term investment. So, my fiance told him not to pay $500 a month anymore. He was just going to deduct that rent money from the money owed.
Now my fiance got engaged in March of this year and when we broke the news to his parents we did not get congratulations right away. We spent an hour talking about what would happen to the brother. I made mentionthen that I would be moving into the house in August because my lease was up and it would help us save money for the wedding.
So, now it is October. I have been living in the house for over a month. I pay the utilities and my fiance pays the mortgage. The brother pays nothing. The other roomate moved out at the end of July, but there has been no mention of when the brother will move out. My fiance and I fight about it continually. He has had conversations about it with his parents, but nothing gets done or planned. No conversations are had directly with the brother. And he doesn’t see a need to move out. Why would he? He lives rent free! The living situation is awful. It’s like the cold war in our house. The brother hardly talks to us andwe hardly talk to him. He feels free to have his girlfriend stay over when ever he wants (The first 3 weeks that was 5 nights a week, but now she has her own place so it’s only 1 night a week). And while he pays nothing live here, he parks his car in the 2 stall garage. I park outside and it is October and we live in MN. I get up the earliest and have the longest (50 min) drive to work. We are going to have to ask him to park outside…
I do not know how to approach the situation anymore. I feel uncomfortable in my own home and I just want a timeline for the brother to move out (preferrably before the wedding). But the family (my fiance included) seem fit to take their time to solve the problem! This is an issue people have known about since March and here we are with only 7 months before the wedding and we are no closer to anything being settled than we were 5 months ago. Please Help! Advice needed before I explode!