(Closed) in-law troubles…… don't know what to do! :-(

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

The problem is that no one would be good enough for her son.  Ever.  There is no point trying, really.  The most I would expect from her is to support her son, and believe that he is happy and get over the fact that he is getting married and she wont be the “woman” in his life anymore.  Have you ever seen monster-in-law? With JLO?  lol

My mom is sort of like that, but she really does try hard to support both me and my brother.  Even though both of us have gone through hell because of the complaining about our spouses.  I just completely ignore her if she starts to bring up either spouse.  Its all you can do really, you cant make someone like you.  But I assure you that it isnt YOU…it would be any girl.

Post # 6
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

I’m sorry you’re in that situation – some mums are really protective over their sons, and no-one will ever be good enough for them. My Mum had a similar problem with my Dad’s Mum (although she did had a mental illness as well). All you can do is continue being polite to her and try not to take it to heart too much. Your Fiance has made his choice, and his Mum won’t change that.

Post # 7
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  Unfrotunately I don’t think that your Future Mother-In-Law will change. 

As long as your Fiance is sticking to your side then you have nothing to worry about.  Your Fiance needs to explain to his mother that you are going to be his wife, you will have a family together, and there is nothing that she can do to change that.  She can take it or leave it, but she can never change it. 

Your Fiance needs to tell her that although he loves her, he will always stand by your side.  Have him tell her that he will always keep in contact with her but it will be minimal as long as she continues to disrespect you the way that she does.

I really do hope that everything works out for you.  *hugs*

Post # 9
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

“I don’t want to spend time with someone who hates me and is trying to break up our relationship.”

Spend the bare minimum you have to, to be polite.  Always be yourself, and never show that anything she says or does gets to you…in front of her, anyway.

My Future Father-In-Law doesn’t like me.  Much like your Future Mother-In-Law, it’s for ‘imagined slights’…I didn’t act a way he thought I should, so therefore I’m not a worthy person.  I have the advantage of being in my 40s and not really caring what people like parents think anymore.  

Sadly, my own mother is vile about my SIL.  I’m not a huge fan of hers either (she acted a bit silly at my wedding, but I think it was probably nerves), but I don’t really know her.  But for my mother, nothing the poor woman can do is right.  And she insults my brother by making out that SIL is the one making all the major decisions in their life, like where they live, etc.  So not only is his wife a controlling bitch, but my brother of 45 has no spine.  I’ve called her out on her attitude a few times, pointing out that her own Mother-In-Law was vile to her, and she’s doing exactly the same thing.  Doesn’t go down too well…

I wouldn’t mention Future Mother-In-Law much to your Fiance – only discuss her if he brings the subject up, etc.  As long as he’s got your back, don’t let her be present in your lives anymore than is unavoidable. 

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