(Closed) Future In-Law Visit

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Keep reminding yourself- they’re trying to make an effort. I think your plan to be polite, dress nice, and be you is perfect- like you said, you can’t do anything else.

Post # 5
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Some parents don’t like getting close to their kids’ SO’s until there’s a ring or even a marriage.  They don’t want to get close to someone and see them as a potential DIL if there’s no guanrantee it’s going to work out.

Also, not for nothing, but asking your SO to confront his parents about their attitude about you probably didn’t do much to make you look better in their eyes.  If they thought you were controlling before, that probably cemented it.

It sounds like your gripe is mostly with Future Mother-In-Law, not Future Father-In-Law.  How’s your relationship with him?  Has he warmed to you better?

Have you ever spent any real time with just FMIL?  Why not take her out to lunch or something, and just talk to her girl to girl?  It’ll force her to talk to you, or she’ll look like kind of a turd for not accepting your offer to hang out, especially after there’s been an engagement.  That actually might be the perfect timing- right after your engagement, ask her to spend a girls’ afternoon with you- get your nails done (you want nice nails to show off your nice ring!) and go to lunch. 

It seems like you’re gong to need to be the one to bridge this gap, whether that’s fair or not.  Keep reaching out and don’t let your attitude sour- if all does go south and you don’t end up with a great relationship with them, at least you’ll be able to honestly tell yourself you tried.

Post # 6
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Never too late to start over. Give them another chance…

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