(Closed) future in law woes

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, its your wedding.. If you want a small one, then thats what you should have. They should understand that.

Post # 4
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

No. Even if you could accomodate for a bigger guests list FMIL’s great uncle and his wife wouldn’t be a priority on that list anyway.

Let her throw her tantrum, but you are paying for the wedding and that is that.

Post # 5
67 posts
Worker bee

You are being totally reasonable.  If you already said, “no, sorry” then stick to it.  I dealt with a very similar issue (telling Future Mother-In-Law she can’t invite all of her friends), and once she had a hissy fit on the phone with my fiance, she never brought it up after HE firmly told her, “no, we can’t do it.”

Post # 6
29 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am always amazed when people try to tell you what to do with your wedding… especially when there’s a monetary amount attached to it and even more especially when it is simply something THEY want for themselves.

In my opinion people can give advice, but in the end they need to understand that it is YOUR wedding, not theirs.  My “halfway” meeting point would be to tell them if they would like to pay for the extra cost then you’ll add them to the list.

Post # 7
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I think people don’t realize how much it costs to have a wedding. It would be different if your in laws were going to pay for the reception but since they aren’t in my opinion they can’t be offended…. Good Luck.

Post # 8
717 posts
Busy bee

stand your ground.  if you and your Fiance are in agreement, that’s all that matters.  it’s not only the monetary factor, because she can counter and argue with something.  you want an intimate, close wedding with people you love and know.  not someone’s great-great-misc relatives.  


they’ll get over it.  she can throw a big family celebration and pay for it and invite whoever the hell she wants.

Post # 9
3303 posts
Sugar bee

She is being unreasonable. Ignore her.

Post # 10
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Tell them to put their money where their mouth is. I hate when the groom’s parents try to dictate and think the bride’s family should pay.

Post # 11
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Stick to your guns! Its your wedding not hers and you should do what makes you happy, 400-800 people is ludacris I cant even imagine. Fiance and I had people that were against us going away but we wanted to get married on a beach and on an island and thats whatwe stuck to. Sorry if you dont like it its our day!

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