Future in laws are really taking the p

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2148 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Did you have a question?

Post # 4
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

This is your future husband’s problem to deal with, not yours. If you take responsibility for setting boundaries with his family now, then your husband may expect you to do it for every problem his family throws your way. I would tell him what you are willing and not willing to do and step back in letting him tell his parents. If he can’t do it, it’s a red flag for sure.

Post # 5
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

First, its great that you can set your own boundaries with no problem but I’m simply curious to know where your FH stands in all of this.  Are you both on the same page?  Are you 100% certain he can stand up to his family?  Because if you’re not…..this is a problem and the wedding needs to be postponed until that certainty appears.

 

Post # 7
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
AndBreathe :  

Well I’m glad about the back thing , but I think that is nowhere near as hard to say no to as the matters in your OP. 

To be honest I could hardly follow it , but in the end I realised my only advice is, ask exactly who you both want and no-one else  .  If any of them threaten not to come,  then the old “sorry, we will miss you”  is the only answer. Communicate your  wishes clearly and concisely and don’t engage in argument/debate  over it,  with anybody.  And be firm but courteous  , don’t get into inviting and uninviting and  substituting etc. 

Sit down with your fi and work out who you really want ( for whatever reason ) and proceed  from there. It is simple really.  NOT easy,  but simple.

 

Post # 8
Member
8390 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

-Don’t change your plans because some folk throw a hissy fit. If they threaten not to come? That’s too bad, we’ll miss you. 

-Don’t attend their fake reception. They can throw whatever party they want, but they can’t force you to show up. 

-Rant your heart out on here! 

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