- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
hi bees…. i need your advice
i don’t know what to do or where to even start, but this concerns my future in-laws. we got engaged in sept, and i started looking to get all the big stuff booked right away so we wouldn’t have to worry about it later. i searched for a good 2 weeks and finally found what i was looking for… a hotel venue. we had explained to my fiance’s parents why we went with that (best price, we have a lot of out of town guests so a hotel for them to stay at would be perfect, etc), so we brought the packet of info out to their house to show them the details. the next day, fi’s dad called and asked if we picked this place b/c we didn’t want to look anymore (are you KIDDING me, i seached for TWO weeks and finally found this place), or if we chose it b/c it was so expensive (which, it is NOT at all compared to other venues)… then he went on to question our photographer i had picked out and suggested a family member who just started photography… and even made a comment about the DJ we were considering. he even asked how much my dad was giving us for the wedding. i should also say his parents do not believe in spending $$ for weddings. they think it’s one day and should be kept to a minimum. they also kept comparing our wedding choices to their neice, who spent a minimal amount on her wedding… which is fine, but i don’t want to have our reception at a legion hall.
so it all started w/ them second guessing our decisions about the wedding, but now i am worried what else they’ll have opinions about or second guess. what about when we start looking for houses? if we choose one, will they say, hey how about this one instead?… when we start having kids, are they going to tell us how to raise them?
i don’t mind advice, WHEN we ask for it, but if we have already made decisions, i would like them to respect our decisions and keep their opinions to themselves.
his parents are also very close to their sons, which is fine, but it’s not something i am used to. his mom stopped over today and i was a little bit annoyed b/c we see them at LEAST once a week, i’m sure it’d be a lot more if we were all for that.
i talked to fi about it today and it pretty much blew up in my face. he said he would choose his parents over me, and i have no idea where that came from, as i was not even asking him to choose. i just told him i am worried about them always second guessing our decisions, and we are 25… they should trust that we are making the right choice.
now i am second guessing this whole thing….. b/c i cannot deal with this our whole lives. his parents are very nice and very caring but i don’t want to be told what to do when we’re married…. am i overreacting? what do i do? does anyone else have a similar situation?