Post # 1
So today my future mother in law, who I do get along with although she is super critical of me showed me the dress she is wearing to our wedding. She told me it was a bit pricey but thats fine for her only sons big day, I just looked it up on the net and its $2200, thats more than my wedding dress! She is getting it in a light grey. It was a bit of a plunge neckline and deep plunge at the back… however I was more shocked to find that it has a train!! and a relatively long train for a non wedding dress! Am I being selfish or mean to think that I should be the only one wearing a dress with a train on my big day! Grrr
Post # 3
My SIL wore a dress with a train at her son’s wedding just a few weeks ago, but had it altered (removed) since she didn’t like how it looked bustled . Your Future Mother-In-Law may be thinking of doing the same, so ask her about it. It will be fine.
Post # 4
I had serious dress issues with my Future Mother-In-Law too. I understand your annoyance, trust me. But it really takes a backseat to everything else. And if its in light grey I dont think you should worry to bad. When people try to compete with the bride they just end up looking foolish. So no worries.
Post # 5
@MASPA: I completely agree – if she does end up dressed like you, she’ll just look silly. But I think she’ll be aware of the fact that looking like the bride is just dumb, especially for a parent of the bride/groom. Maybe mention to her that it looks almost like a bridegown, but trust her not to be too stupid with her dress choices.
Post # 6
I think it’s inappropriate. If it didn’t have a train and were a different colour, it would be much more appropriate.
Post # 7
agree with PP- i think its gorgeous- but i would wear it for a wedding dress! (if if could afford it!) 😐
Post # 8
@MeeShell: Totally inappropriate. Yes it’s her only son’s wedding and she should look super in an expensive dress – but that’s a Wedding dress.
Post # 9
@MeeShell: I do think MASPA got it right when she said that when people try to compete with the bride, they look foolish. That is absolutely correct.
That said, I cannot imagine having the audacity to wear that to someone’s wedding- ESPECIALLY a wedding where I’d be in a LOT of pictures!!! Do you have the type of relationship where you can bring up the fact that she’s chosen a wedding gown and she is *not* the bride? If so, I would politely voice your concerns- that you love the dress but worry it will be competing with yours as it is lightly colored/has a train/etc. See how she responds. She may have plans to nix the train… and perhaps the gray isn’t as light as it looks in the photo?
However, if she chooses to wear it as it looks above, just smile and move on. Everyone is there to celebrate YOUR marriage, not hers, and no one besides you will notice what she is wearing.
Post # 10
I think it’s fine! She’s not getting it in white. I don’t think it’s too sexy. And I don’t really care that it has small train. I have an evening gown I wear occasionally that has a small train. And if she has the money to pay for it then more power to her! I mean think about it from her point of view (or about how you’ll feel when it’s your kids). This is a big day for her and she wants to look and feel good. She’s not going to steal your spotlight and nobody will mistake her for the bride. She just wants to have a good time and look great, just like you do. So let her. Especially since it sounds like you have a great relationship. Read some of the horror stories on her about in-laws and an expensive dress will seem like the most minor issue in the world.
Post # 11
I would like to reiterate what others have already said. Anyone who tries to compete with the bride will look foolish, no matter how much the dress costs. I have seen it happen and it was just sad.
The dress is a bit too wedding gown-y for my tastes, but depending on her frame, will not be too sexy. The colour definitely helps. The train is excessive, but let it slide. The more you make it a focus, the more you will stress. And inappropriate as it is, it probably isn’t worth the battle.
Post # 12
I think it’s fine. I wouldnt think twice about it sinc it’s gray.
Post # 13
i could see being a bit annoyed about that. its a little too bridal for my liking, but as others said, all she will do is make herself look bad, no one will confuse her with you, and everyone will think she looks foolish for trying to compete!
Post # 15
I’m just gonna say that I expect this same type of behavior from my Future Mother-In-Law. I think it just shows her lack of respect for you AND her son.
Post # 16
She’s looking at a dress with a train.
Nope, no no no. I’d flip the switch so quickly. Thankfully, both my mom and Future Mother-In-Law are kinda lost as to what to wear. lol We will make a group trip to pick their outfits out.