(Closed) Future MIL is killing me…..

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

kendra2015:  Omg I think you’re marrying FI’s brother! haha My future Mother-In-Law is acting the same way! Its driving me nuts. But we are getting close to our days so not much longer to deal with it. Hugs!

Post # 3
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

Whoa!  How long does she think it will take to get to her seat?  She can walk in to whatever is playing.

Now, what does your Fiance have to say about this?  You can cover the photographer issue since contractually you can’t have another photographer.   That is a common clause in photographer contracts.

That is also common with caterers.  Your caterer is not going to allow food cooked by someone else to be served.  if there was food poisoning from the Italian caterer your caterer would be liable.  I can’t imagine a reputable Italian caterer agreeing to allow your caterer’s food either. 

You guys need to put a stop to this and it seems to me that Fiance needs to have a firm but polite talk with his mom.

Post # 4
Member
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Can your groom say something to his mother? This kind of thing seams to be easier resolved when the child talks to their parent

Post # 5
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Can you let her make a speech at the reception, rather than the ceremony? That way she could speak about her husband in a more appropriate setting. And in terms of the photographer and caterer, just tell her that your contracts with them include exclusivity clauses so unfortunately she won’t be able to bring other people in.

Post # 6
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

How about we give Mom her very own reception in a separate building so she feels extra special…LOL

Post # 7
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

kendra2015:  I feel ya sister! I thought my Mother-In-Law was bad… but yours takes the cake. All you can do is give in on the things you are okay with, and stand your ground on the others. A 2nd photographer – yeah right lady! 

Hopefully yours doesn`t threaten to throw her own party on the same night like mine did. No joke. 

Post # 8
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

TinderBoxx:  +1  Ha ha ha ha!

 

My own Mother-In-Law thinks she should be the center of the universe, too, but my SIL is even worse.

Post # 9
Member
49 posts
Newbee

kendra2015:  I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I agree with the other bees in regards to having your Fiance have a talk with his mom. It’s important that you speak with your Fiance about this issue as it will happen again the future as other important events happen in your life as a couple (e.i., buying a home, having a baby, ect.). You want to make sure that she understands that you guys will take her suggestions but that ultimately you and your Fiance will have the last word. Best of luck to you and don’t let her make this process more stressful for yourself. 

Post # 10
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Have your husband speak for you for this one. No need to start any drama with her, but as her son he should put her in her place. Having her own song and having an additional photographer is ridiculous.

Post # 11
Member
6854 posts
Busy Beekeeper

kendra2015:  A special arrangement, “Here Comes the Mom?”  

Can she serve “true Italian” dishes at the rehearsal dinner?

She knows it’s a wedding and not a funeral? Nothing wrong with acknowledging those who cannot be there, but a speech during the ceremony? No. Sometimes a reader acknowledges as part of a list of things for which the couple gives thanks…

Post # 12
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

kendra2015:  If she has specific pictures that she wants, she can just provide you a list so you can make sure the photographer you have already contracted with gets them. 

Agreed with PP that you should offer to have a “true Italian” rehearsal dinner (that she can pay for). 

Post # 13
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

Give her the kiss & hug and the rememberance candle. Like PPs said, rehersal dinner is italian food that she pays for and let her make a welcome speech during the dinner.

You can always say you talked to the DJ and he said it would be too difficult and awkward to play a seperate entrance for her for a few seconds and that you see his point (“BUT we’d love for you to do the prayer before dinner/short speech/something else small”)

As for the second photographer…..yeah….no, blame your photographer not wanting a second shooter. Tell her she’s more than welcome to make a list and give it to you of the shots she would like. Pick a couple and try to squeeze them in and frame one of them for her.

Post # 14
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Not to make light of your problem but this really reminds me of The Monster-in-Law lol. I would definately sit her down and let her know that this is your decision and she will just have to get over it.

Post # 15
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Aside from the hug, all of that is a big ole nope.  This whole day is about you and her son, not her. 

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