Post # 1
My future mother in law I keeps asking to put everyone in my FI’s family either in the wedding or give them a job at the wedding.
This has become so out of control. First was”find a place for the kids”. I thought sure, no problem. There are three kids, and I would like to involve the three kids from my family as well. So I found roles for all of them and felt pretty great.
Next, it was “include FI’s sister in your wedding party”. Hmmm… Well in 9 years Fiance and I have been dating, I have only met her twice, but, okay. She’s my future sister in law, she is immediate family. Okay, I have another bridesmaid.
Next, it was “the eleven year old (one of the kids I already found a role for) has a beautiful voice and she would like her to be the lead vocalist at the ceremony.” luckily, my parents already booked the music, so this was a simple no. She was hurt. So I mentioned having her sing at the rehearsal dinner.
Now she asks me to find a role for FI’s brother in law. She’s afraid his feelings will be hurt if he isn’t in the wedding. Fiance and BIL do not get along. This Christmas was the first time I have ever met him. We do not want to add anyone else in the wedding!
I responded and told her that the first couple rows on either side of the ceremony venue are reserved for close family members, and corsages will be given to them in hopes to make everyone feel as important as they are to us. And, all roles of the wedding are filled. She was hurt.
My parents are footing 100% of the bill. And I literally have 2 people standing up from my side plus the 3 kids on my side handing out confetti to toss out of 18 people.
i have had to ask her for addresses 7 times so far and still haven’t received anything. Argh…
have any of you experienced anything like this? How would you handle it?
Post # 3
@Megnolia: if they don’t get along why is she insisting? Have you asked her?
Post # 4
This is why I’m not having a wedding. I would simply say no and drop it. You’ve been NORE than accommodating.
Post # 5
It might be time for your Fiance to put his foot down with his mother. You shouldn’t be stuck in the middle of this.
Post # 6
Your Fiance needs to tell her to stop demanding that people be put in the wedding. I don’t think your FI’s BIL whom he doesn’t get along with will be upset he’s not in the wedding for crying out loud. Tell your Fiance to have a talk with his mother and say HE doesn’t want BIL in the wedding and that you are not adding any more people. I think you adding the kids and your Future Sister-In-Law was gracious but insisting that an 11 year old sing at your ceremony come on, it’s YOUR ceremony/wedding and she isn’t paying anything so therefore she needs to zip and and stop making demands.
Post # 7
You’re a VERY patient person, I would have snapped long ago. It’s ridiculous and the only explanation I can come up with for her behaviour is that she’s a control freak. I would thank her for her suggestions but inform her that all roles are filled. If she persists ,or give you attitude, your Fiance needs to step in and tell her that it’s your wedding – not hers.
Wish you the very best of luck!
Post # 8
I agree with the others. Get your Fiance involved en tell him he needs to say “No”. No need for you to get in a tough spot with your Future Mother-In-Law. If she was paying for anything she would have a say, but since she’s not…. tough luck lady!
Post # 9
Get Fiance involved and just say no. It is getting out of hand. And if she hasn’t given you addresses for people then you just don’t say anything and don’t send them out. It’s simple.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I agree with the other ladies…Fiance needs to voice his opinion and let Future Mother-In-Law know that enough is enough.