Post # 1
Maybe not the right forum for it, but I’m “waiting” to be married, so…s/o and I are both 26, dating 4 years, got engaged recently, and our wedding will be next August. We lived together for 2 years.
Every holiday season is the same story – he goes over to his parents house, while I’m not invited and either celebrate by myself/with friends:travel to see my family who live abroad. The reason for that is because his mother believes Christmas is a family-only affair, and that girlfriends are not part of the family. Fiancée, as it turns out, is not a part of the family either. Next year, when I’m more of a family, I will not go to their house, and I will feel amazing about it.
Post # 2
Is it his mother who’s not inviting you or is he not inviting you? Although I can’t imagine my own Mother-In-Law being OK with his son not inviting me for the holidays back when we were dating/engaged.
Post # 3
Or you could rise above this and attend the first Christmas as his wife and build a good relationship with your Future In-Laws.
Post # 4
This is crazy. My now husband and I started spending holidays with each other’s family two years in, and his family is super ultra conservative. I would be more angry with your fiance to be honest. If my parent’s didn’t let me bring my longterm boyfriend around I definitly would not leave him alone for Chirstmas! I would stay with him and tell my family that it’s either both of us or neither of us. You fiance should have stood up for you.
Post # 5
Now that you are engaged and going to be his future wife, why is your Fiance not sticking up for you? Or at the very least spending it with you instead of them?
I mean, rant away from your Future Mother-In-Law because that sucks but this is also definitely a Fiance issue.
Post # 6
That will get you absolutely no where. So she has a belief that holidays are for family, so when you marry into the family, you’re going to blow her off just because of what she believes? That has disaster written all over it.
If she didn’t invite you AFTER you were married, you would have a leg to stand on.
Be the bigger person and let this one go.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
If my Fiance bowed to his mother’s ridiculous demands and left me alone on holidays, he wouldn’t be my Fiance any more. It’s not a Mother-In-Law problem, it’s an Fiance problem for putting his mom’s feelings ahead of yours.
Post # 8
Exactly. Why create even more drama.
Post # 9
I’m sorry but I think this is so awful. This is the exact opposite of what Christmas is about. I think the fact that your Future Mother-In-Law would rather her son’s girlfriend or fiance be home alone on Christmas than at her home is horrible…but there is no way my fiance would leave me home alone on Christmas because his mom told him to either.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2018 - Aspen, Colorado
Wow, I’ve never dated someone whose family didn’t want me around for the holidays. I’m sorry being his fiance still doesn’t allow you to be with him on Christmas. Do you and Future Mother-In-Law have a good relationship otherwise?
Post # 11
I completely disagree. Once you establish a relationship with someone, they become a social unit. Doesn’t matter if you’re just dating, engaged or married. OP, you have every right to be upset and I would actually be pretty pissed at your fiance too for not standing up to his mother. I think you need to have a conversation with him, and if he’s not putting you first, you may want to rethink things.
Post # 12
Actually, are you sure it’s his mother’s rule? Looking at pp comments, they are right, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Why wouldn’t he stand up for you instead of leaving you alone? Is he the reason and not her? Has she told you her rule herself?
Post # 13
Holy crap I would not stay with a man who left me alone on Christmas. Why does he let his mother exclude you like that? So incredibly rude. You live together…
Post # 14
He’s the person who leaves you alone on Christmas. You have a Fiance problem.
Post # 15
Yeah no, I am sorry if your Fiance can’t stand up to his mother and doesn’t stay with you over Christmas you havea Fiance issue not a Mother-In-Law issue