- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
I just REALLY need to get this off my chest, sorry hive! I finally went up against her, after over a year of smiling like an idiot to her face, and I feel like I’m going to explode! >_<
My future mother-in-law is a NIGHTMARE. She’s not outwardly mean, but she’s an extremely dramatic and passive-aggressive person–not a good combination. Let’s highlight some of her more interesting attributes:
-She has a mild mental disorder. FH is convinced it’s borderline syndrome, but she refuses to go back to a therapist. Yes, go back. She’s had many.
-She is so kind in public. Her coworkers, her clients, her students: they all LOVE her. And I can see why because I’ve seen her interact at work. But she uses up 110% of her energy at work, so she’s got nothing left for her family when she gets home. And this ‘mask’ is why therapists never get anywhere with her, because she acts so normal in front of them.
-She’s a Type B that desperately wants to be a Type A. She wants so badly to control everything and everyone around her… but it. always. fails. It just makes everyone, including her children, dislike being in a room with her. No seriously, her youngest son REFUSES to come home to see his SICK father (poor Future Father-In-Law has been in the ICU for months, I miss him) because he can’t stand his mother. I know he’s being selfish too, but how ridiculous is that situation??
-She’s OBSESSED with money. But she doesn’t understand how to handle money. When she sees a bill, she CRIES. Literally. She’s got retirement savings, pension, personal savings, all sorts of insurance… yet she’s convinced she’s going to starve and/or lose her house at any moment.
-She’s completely illogical, irrational, and selfish. She somehow makes herself the victim of any situation, and everything is about her. But if you try to call her out on it, she genuinely does not understand how selfish she is. She only sees that you’re “being mean” to her.
-Everything is black-and-white with her; there are no grey areas. So if we suggest perhaps tentatively scheduling a dinner together sometime next week? It becomes dinner at 5.30-9.00pm on Sunday evening. Why? Because that time is open in her schedule, so obviously it must be okay with us.
-Anytime we deny her something (generally with a good reason), it’s a very personal offense. This is also true for anytime we attempt to correct her or give her advice.
-When she offends someone else, she will never admit fault. All that comes out of her mouth are a million and one excuses for why she was in the right. Don’t hold your breath, the woman doesn’t understand the meaning of apology.
-She is super super super super SUPER jealous. Example? When FH and I first moved into our apartment last year, she could only talk about how we would never be able to afford the rent and how ridiculous it was that our first place out of college was so nice. She refused to come over for months because of her jealousy. Look lady, it’s not our fault that you didn’t take care of your house for the past 3 decades! So can you please stop being immature, and SUPPORT YOUR SON?? He got his first place, and it’s nice! Be happy for him! Be a good mother! Ugh.
There’s so much more, but this is all that my mind could vomit right now.
I emailed FH’s family (at his request) to try and see what their plans were for the upcoming holidays, and DISASTER is an understatement. We have to split it with my family, and for the above reasons, neither FH or I want her in a room with my mom. (FMIL offended my mom the 1st time they met, at our engagement dinner. Ugh, don’t get me started on that day, Future Mother-In-Law was such a downer!)
What did the email turn into? Somehow she got the idea that I was only open to seeing FH’s family on Thanksgiving Eve and Christmas Day, that they were banned from seeing us at any other time, that it would feel like an appointment because we’d only see each other for a couple hours (this is based on last year, when I was PREGNANT and ready to pop over Thanksgiving, and then a new mom to a brand newborn baby over Christmas!), and that I made her feel like a “blithering idiot” because I attempted to clarify her misinterpretation.
So I finally just bluntly pointed out EXACTLY what I meant to say. I’m so tired of looking the other way everytime she acts ridiculous. Which is all. the. freaking. time.
Seriously though, if she says something about my mom ONE MORE TIME, I’m going to throw a shoe at her! >:O
Kudos to anyone who was able to make it this far… o_o