Post # 1
I’m having a hard time dealing with my Future Mother-In-Law. Every decision we have to make as a couple entails her asking upwards of 50+ questions wanting to know every detail. She emails or texts constantly about ideas, which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s all random stuff that I dont even know how to respond to. Example the day I finished our wedding website she responds back OMG SO excited – can I send it to all of my friends? Constantly asks to posts about us on facebook, and randomly has her friends (whom I’ve never met) looking up wedding information for me. Or wanting to review and discuss the registry and guest list. When i told her we didnt want a couples shower, she continued to give 50 reasons why we should?? I hesistant to let her help with anything bc I am super nervous of all the questions or taking it to the next level. Any idea on how to suggest turning it down a notch? I feel like she is more excited than myself or the groom.
Not too mention when I bring it up to the groom how it’s overwhelming he tells me to deal with it that shes just excited.
Post # 3
@mittenbride: Excited is nice, so long as she isn’t trying to hijack your wedding. Would it help if you give her the responsibility for not so important stuff? That might help her feel like she is more involved with the wedding and she will be busy enough not to poke her nose into every other detail? If all else fails, you need to calmly point out the issue to your fiance. Men aren’t ever ready to see any fault in their mothers, but if he cares for you (and I’m sure he does or else you wouldn’t be marrying him) then he will deal with your concern with as much sensitivity as his mother’s. Congratulations for your upcoming nuptials!
Post # 4
Is there any way that you (or the FI) could explain that you are so excited that she is interested in helping and how lucky you feel to get her input BUT it is a bit overwhelming right now and to just understand you are taking the planning a litte slower?
Post # 5
@Aquababes: +1. I agree that giving your Mother-In-Law a small “job” that she can handle on her own would probably be the nicest way to keep her involved without driving you crazy. Give her free reign over something that will keep her busy, but isn’t too important to you. For example, a bridal shower for side of the family.
Post # 6
Oh my gosh! I can TOTALLY relate to your post! Its such a hard line to walk, my Future Mother-In-Law went from being to excited to trying to take that enthusiasm and take over the day. Its like you need to balance somehow keeping her in the loop because this is such a special time for everyone involved but also I’ve found its best to just take care of certain tasks myself because it will become so much more time consuming! We are nearly date twins and I’m sure your feeling the pressure of everything coming down to the wire. If your fiance really wants you to include her in things it might be best if you complete the majority of the task and then invite her a long to “finish up” this way she might catch on to the fact that your past the “suggestion” stage. lol. Also, I don’t know what your relationship with her is like but maybe you could say something along the lines of, I really have enjoyed sharing this time with you but as the day gets closer I think it would be best to focus our energy on completing the tasks at hand rather then re-evaluating them. I appreciate you wanting to help us make this day so perfect but I also don’t want us to make extra works for ourself when we could use that time to relax and enjoy some extra special moments before the wedding.
Best of luck girl!
Post # 7
While it may seem a bit stressful, you should be glad that she’s excited! The best way to deal with this is to let her vent her enthusiasm productively. I would recommend giving her a task that she can own completely. It should be something large enough to keep her occupied and make her effect on the wedding important, yet not significant enough to mess with core features of the wedding. Perhaps the pre-reception cocktail hour or the way people will line up when you and the groom leave the ceremony venue.
The problem right now is that she’s all over the place without direction. Give her guidelines and then let her focus all her energy on it and be proud of a specific function when the big day comes!