Post # 1
So I had to come on here and share this, because I thought this was hilariously rude.
Some back story: When FI’s mother and father were married, FI’s father couldn’t keep a job. He spent way too much money, and he left FI’s mom in a terrible financial situation following the divorce. I don’t know much about the situation beyond that except that it somehow involved shared bank accounts.
Anyway, so here’s the current situation: Future Mother-In-Law called Fiance to let him know that she was sending a check as a wedding gift. However, she specified that she wanted the check to go into ONLY HIS ACCOUNT. She did not want me to be able to touch the money, even after we married. Fiance was to decide how to save or spend it. As far as I know, this is the only wedding gift she is planning on giving us. (FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves.)
As soon as Fiance got off the phone with her, he told me about their conversation, and we just had to laugh at the irony. Who gives a gift to celebrate a marriage–the legal, spiritual, and emotional union of two people–only to the groom? I totally get her concerns, and I’m not taking it personally, but how funny is that? It would be one thing if she were just sending her son money for something, but this money is specifically meant to be a wedding present! Apparently I can’t have one of my own wedding presents! What a nut. 🙂
Post # 3
Holy cow. On the bright side, you won’t have to send her a thank you card (though your Fiance will).
Post # 4
Wedding presents are traditionally given to the couple.
But, the other day here on wedding bee there was a post from a stepfather who was going to give his stepdaughter a tennis bracelet for a wedding gift.
Interestingly, no one raised an objection that the gift should be something for the two of them or even asked if he was also giving them a more tradiotional gift that would involve the groom.
Post # 5
I’m glad you both can laugh this one off. It speaks to your relationship immensely. What a whackjob.
Post # 6
@julies1949: That is interesting! I think maybe the difference is just that the stepfather is giving the bride something specific that he wants her to have. I do think that he should probably give another gift to the couple, though.
Post # 7
LOL! You’re right this is funny!!
Post # 8
Wow.. is all I have to say.
Then again, our wedding present from my parents technically is something I have wanted for years! Even though it is for both of us, Fiance and I know it actually is mine. My dad has made me by hand my china hutch it is a replica of the one he made for my mom years ago.
Post # 9
@KitKatNYC: Well, if she wanted a thank you note, she probably should have given the money to both of us, because Fiance is TERRIBLE about writing thank you notes. 🙂
Post # 10
I love that you aren’t taking this too seriously.
It really is kind of funny!
Post # 11
Kind of silly for your Future Mother-In-Law b/c your Fiance can just turn around and use the money towards a new house, car, honeymoon, etc. This way his money is directly benefiting him but also indirectly benefiting you too!
Post # 12
@Sassygrn: That sounds awesome! You’re right that it’s probably more for you than your Fiance, but what a beautiful addition to your home together! Your kids will grow up knowing that their grandfather made it for your wedding present, and maybe they’ll even want to keep it in the family after you’ve passed. I think it sounds like a lovely wedding gift. 🙂
Post # 13
@lolisa: Oh it is, I can’t wait for my parents to bring it up. I just kinda laugh when Fiance says “your wedding present” to me. When we both know it is our present. My parents are bringing it up on Satuday, I did see it last weekend and is sooooo pretty. I have other things my dad has made for me. I have a cedar chest, a night stand, TV Stand, and a book case he has made me through out the years.
Post # 14
My Future Mother-In-Law does this all the time. I don’t even know what is going to happen with wedding presents. Every Christmas (I know Christmas is different than a wedding, but I’m sure “our” wedding present will be similar) she gives “us” a check for x amount, but tells Fiance (in front of the whole family and me) that it is really for him. I just laugh it off and we always use it for something stupid for both of us. Or lately, he’s been cashing the check and taking me shopping for clothes/shoes/whatever I want. And then makes a point to tell her. She still doesn’t get it though.
Post # 15
Oof, good for you both for being able to just roll your eyes. What a weird thing to do?! I’d just write her a thank you note for her presence at the wedding, no mention of a gift. If the Mr. gets a separate gift, he can write a separate thank you 😉
Post # 16
When I first read the title of this post I was thinking you meant a specific material gift for your Fiance. I thought – well that’s not so bad. Like other posters have said – some special gift like jewellery or something for the house…
But giving cash *just* for him? That’s crazy. It’s good you are taking this so well because I would be super insulted!