Post # 1
Hello Fellow Bees,
This is my first time posting, although I have been a lurker for quite some time 😛
I have been happily dating my boyfriend of two years, we are not engaged yet but talk about our future a lot. I think he is going to pop the question sometime soon!!! 🙂
He comes from a nice family and is hard-working, treats me like a princess. The one thing I don’t understand is his mother. She keeps telling me that I take her son away from her (in a subtle, but oh-so obvious) way. Comments like ” I don’t see you anymore , you’re never home” or ” I wasn’t sure if you still live here” are constant catchphrases in her vocabulary.
I get the whole mother and son bond, but I just don’t understand why she feels the need to tell me this? I feel like I’m stealing her son away. How do I respond to her non-directed, (although seemingly so) remarks in a polite way? I usually just shrug it off and wait for my boyfriend to say something. I don’t want to be mean about it but one more comment and I think I’m just going to flip out!!!
Doesn’t she see how insulting this is? What she is trying to accomplish by saying this EVERY time I see her!
Post # 3
oh my Future Mother-In-Law does this to us ALL the time. She is always telling us how she never talks to us, or never knows whats going on bc we never see her. Um excuse me but you call one of us at least once a day, we see you just about every week. I just want to tell her “Get over it already lady!” I feel you!
Post # 4
Maybe you can make time to spend with her? Like a monthly double date with her and FFIL? Also, maybe if she got to spend some time with (just) you, like you could go get your nails done together or get shoulder massages or go shopping or go out for tea… anyway, maybe if you work on your relationship with her, it’ll ease her fears of losing her son!
Post # 5
The sad thing is its an issue of control and loneliness. His mom doesn’t have many friends and his father is always out so she is bored at home alone (understandably so). His other siblings are out just as much, if not more than he is and I never hear her complaining about them! I just feel like its almost more of a personal attack-even though she’s been nothing but nice to me. I think the best way to describe it, is picture the TV show EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. I’m Debra in soooomany ways, not just b/c of the mother-in-law thing!!!!
Post # 6
Yeah, I have this too. FMIL is divorced, husband left for for a significantly younger and hotter woman (ouch). Soooo, we get a lot of lonely phone calls, a lot of “you never call me”, etc, etc…. I try to put myself in her shoes, and it must be heartbreaking for her to feel like I’ve stolen her only son. BUT, at the same time, I learned that when Fiance and I have children of our own, I don’t want my kids to be my entire life. I want something else, because kids grow up and get their own lives, and I don;t want to sit at home missing them to this extreme extent. I went a lot to my friends about it, but to my Future Mother-In-Law I try to call her a lot and send her cards, I encourage her to date, and we go shopping a lot.
Post # 7
I’m with you on this. My Future Mother-In-Law always tells my Fiance to move home… she pretends shes joking but I know she’s not. It’s so annoying and rude he chose to move out , she used to freak out when he slept over we are 22 years old a little weird to me…