(Closed) Future Morher in Law/photography question

posted 5 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 2
2316 posts
Buzzing bee

My wedding is one of the few times that most of my family will be in one place and since there will be a pro photographer there I am taking full advantage to get some nice family pics. We are not a big happy family, but on my wedding day everyone will be happy and that is what matters.   However, those family pics will NOT be of every individual family.  We will have one pic of the entire family then my mothers family and fathers family, Fi family, Aunts Uncles, cousing, Firends. I also invested in an open air photobooth with an antique sofa which is perfect for family pics such as the ones your mother is suggesting.  If someone wants pics of their family unit they can round everyone up and go take a pic in the photo booth.  They can then download that one pic after the wedding and blow it up

Post # 3
7467 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
mrsrizz:  I can give my opinion as a wedding photographer….we shoot whatever family combinations is asked of us BY THE COUPLE. All of my clients fill out an info form specifically covering family formals. However, this is for family formals that include them (aka : bride w/ mom, bride w/ parents, bride/groom w/ brides parents, etc). It’s not uncommon for my clients to request a photo w/ both parents even if they are divorced. It might not work for every family but there are certainly families out there that can manage to stand in a photo together despite not being married anymore.

I am in 100% agreement that when it comes to combinations of the family together it’s often the only time that everyone is in the same place. That being said there is nothing more frustraiting them spending our time taking individual family photos for those who want them when the day is about the couple getting married. If a family wants a portrait, they should book a session with a portrait photographer. If a family stops me at some point and asks me to grab a quick photo by all means I do it (provided I’m not in the middle of shooting something important). That being said, I’m hired to document the wedding day and the second you open yourself up to shooting a family portrait for guests EVERYONE wants to jump in and have their taken too. 

I think you’re going to be in a pickle because Mother-In-Law is paying and that means she wants her voice/opinion to be heard. I don’t know how your photographer does it but I make it very clear my client (espeically on the contract) is always the bride & groom regardless of who is paying. If you feel passionate about your side of it you guys can foot the bill and tell her sorry. Otherwise, I’d tell her that if she expects a photographer to be on hand to take random requests for family portraits she needs to call the photographer and have an extra shooter be added to the package. I have a second shooter with me at all weddings….partly for alternate coverage but also because they assist me in lighting, gear, etc. 

Post # 4
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

I think your future mother in law has the right idea.  Take pictures with family members thst are interessted in taking pictures. We are having a photographer and an assistant so that our photographer will be focussing on us and  the assistant will be taking family photos

Post # 5
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I gotta say, if she is willing to pay, then do it. We did A LOT of what I deemed ‘unnecessary’ photos of family (most didn’t even make it into my wedding album) but there were people who wanted them…and they got them. I also had one bridesmaid who demanded a mini photo shoot with her and her husband (who also happened to be a groomsman) but that is another story… There aren’t many occasions in life to get formal family photos, so people will jump at the chance. Don’t sweat it though, there will be LOADS of time to get pics of the bride and groom. Any good photographer will recognize that.

Post # 6
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I feel that a wedding is a great time to get family photos, it’s not a great time to get family photos of aunt sherry and her son tom. I’m all for doing big and small family shots with the bride and groom but not individual posed photos of famlies. 

Ask your mil to write a list of all the photos and then work with the photographer to see what makes sense. 

Edited to say: Is your Mother-In-Law writing you a check for the photographer or is she the one doing the booking? 

Post # 7
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Country Cottage and Gardens

I would talk to the photographer to see if that is doable. If he’she is confident that it wouldn’t interfere with anything then I don’t see the harm. As a PP said, I have two photographers I don’t see the issue with doing the pictures since my main photographer wouldn’t be distracted. But if you only have one photographer and she’s requesting a large number of combinations then you could likely tell her that the photographer didn’t think it was feasible. That would be an easy cop out. If they do think it’s feasible then I would just make her happy, especially since she’s paying for it. 

Post # 8
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I agree with a PP to see if the photographer will have an assistant.  That way you can have the main person focus on the wedding party, while the assistant does family photos. 

As far as a picture with the Future Mother-In-Law, Future Father-In-Law, husband and you, I don’t see what the problem is…  You are a family now.  What happened in their marriage has nothing do with you nor does it negate the fact that they share a child, your husband.  Therefore, yes it is fine to take a picture with his husband’s parents (who are still 100% his parents regardless of their maritial status) and his wife.  My sister did exactly this when she got married and I plan to do the same.  This is despite the fact that my parents have long been split and my Dad is remarried. 

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