- 6 years ago
I have been dating my boyfriend for over 4 years and I always could tell that his family was not a huge fan of me. Recently I got engaged and my Fiance told me that he told his mother months ago of his plan for the engagement and her words were ” This is a big step so make sure you have picked the right person and that you are ready for this” In a nutshell she is saying DONT MARRY HER!. This really hurt my feelings when I found out, she did not offer congrats or seem excited. A year after meeting my Fiance we both decided to go back to school to better our lives for the future. His program is done now and he is working, and I am still in Nursing school for 2 more years. When we decided to move in together a year ago, she was not pleased. She asked me ” are your parents ok with you moving in with adam” and of course my parents were very happy for me. My Fiance sister has recently married and was dating less time than we have been before they were married? However, when we moved in to an apartment she was not happy about this because she felt like we should be buying an expensive house like his sister and her Fiance.
I find these comments she has made very hurtful. We made a decision to work towards our futures and to her, this is not good enough. We have long term goals and we dont even want to buy a house right now because we are enjoying where we are at. I always try to spark up conversation when we visit them but she ignors it or gives one word answers. It seems to be all about his sister and no one really asks us anything or cares really. I feel bad for my Fiance and his response was, oh this is what all mothers say when they find out about proposals. I disagree, I thought I would hear a congrats or even that she was happy for us. Nope, definatly not. I have also tried on numerous occasions to get her to go to dinner with my father and mother who are divorced but still speak and visit each other. She will not do this because she feels it will be uncomfortable. I don’t understand this! I am trying to bring families together but she wants none of it. Does anyone have advice for me. This issue has been going on for years and it seems to be getting worse.