- 1 year ago
- Wedding: June 2019
Future Mother-In-Law is driving my batty! Shes made every event fully about her, it’s a side of her I havent sen up to now(nearly a decade of knowing her) shes been married twice, we get to do this once(neither of us have been married, been together 9 years) it all started on FHs birthday last year, she wanted to come to town to surprise him for his birthday. I set up a two layer surprise for him and had her at our place when he got home, we went to dinner and I had 35 of our friends surprise him there(which she almost ruined a few times in the 45 min between when he got home, changed and we got to the restaurant) she told everyone there that she set the whole thing up. Nobody there but FH and I knew her. I got so many texts saying she was weird. She wanted all the credit for something I did.
My mom freaked out the day we booked the wedding (after helping me plan it and being in on all the planning) and decided she would not go. Future Mother-In-Law asked if she could walk me down the aisle since my mom “didnt care enough to be there” I politely declined and she told me she would force me to. I firmly declined and talked to FH about it. We will not have an aisle.
My dress appointment to pick my dress she spent half an hour over my time trying on bridesmaid dresses (she is not a brides maid) well after I picked my dress and the salesgirl said multiple times if she wanted to try on more she needed to make an appointment. I’m so glad I went with my bff before that so I got to have fun trying on wedding dresses.
She told the entire town she lives in(including FHs whole family) that we are getting married, there was not one person in his family other than his mom that he got to tell.
I got my dress custom colored and FH wants to be surprised and not see it or know what it looks like or anything. The day before I got to see it, she said out loud with him sitting between us “when you see your dress will it be fully done or just dyed?” I could have stabbed her right there.
I just got my engagement ring Friday and dreaded posting it online because I knew I’d get a message from her asking when we are paying her back(she lent us money for the wedding, we havent finished paying the for the wedding yet, but the ring was well in our budget too)
She and I got in an argument last week over me feeling like she doesnt respect my opinions or his and feeling like she wants to be the center of our microwedding and how that makes me feel bad and anxious about the whole thing. She just sent a ‘thumbs up’ and nothing else.
Its to the point I’m about to tell her we are cancelling our engagement party just so she wont go and I can have one day(literally one!) Where we can be the focus.
She wants to wear low cut dress to the ceremony, she wanted to wear a dress that looked just like my wedding dress on the bodice, I told her a few times I didnt want that, she ignored me so i told her to wait till my dress was altered just so it would be too late for her to order it.
We only invited her and my mom(who isnt going, so I invited my BFF) I’m super happy she is going(the bff) because she has put Future Mother-In-Law in check a few times.
She wanted us to drive together to the port, I have declined till I’m blue in the face. None of us have a vehicle that makes sense to do that with 4 adults and all of our luggage, and I am NOT shoving my wedding dress in a trunk. She wanted us to share a hotel room before we leave…also declined until I had to say we just aren’t going to go down the night before anymore.
FH and I are going to her town to see her in a few weeks and he plans to talk to her because she has put so much stress on us, idk how it’s going to go and honestly I just needed to get it out
We are 51 days to the wedding, 47 days till we leave, and I’m starting to just want it to be over. That’s so far away from how I want to feel about marrying my absolute best friend.
Uninviteing her to the wedding is not possible at this point, but I’m hurt and stressed and dont feel like she sees she is making everything about her. Every day has been something new to stress about.
Luckily my FH is the greatest human on the planet and we have been able to vent to eachother about it all. He said he didnt understand the term “monster in law” till my mom flipped out about our wedding and now we both get monsters in law. We’ve agreed we thought his mom was the less crazy, but this whole thing is making us think they are both insane. We have also daydreamed about telling her we have called it off and then going without her.
(We are nearly 30 and live in a different state than Future Mother-In-Law, have cohabited for 8 years, and she has planned at least 2 weddings for FHs sister, neither of which actually happened)