(Closed) Future Mother in Law is upset…actually really angry…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Maricr:  Wow. I can’t believe she is behaving like this. The bridal party is uasally the friends and sisters of the bride. Her special spot is the mother of the groom. It sounds like she just wants attention at the wedding. Let her be upset. Do not give in to her. Be careful and watchful that she tries to pull no silly stunts at the wedding

Post # 4
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow….your Future Mother-In-Law sounds like a real peach.  I’ve NEVER in my LIFE heard of a Future Mother-In-Law being the bride’s Maid/Matron of Honor. She sounds like a nutjob and you should NOT give in to her at all because this is YOUR day, not hers.

Here’s hoping you guys will end up living far, far, FAR away from her.

Post # 5
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you cave every time this woman gets angry, you are going to be manipulated by her the rest of your life.

Post # 6
Member
869 posts
Busy bee

Are you kidding?  No way in hell would I ever entertain that idea!!!  Personally, if I went to a wedding and the future Mother-In-Law was the maid of honor, I’d literally miss all of the ceremony because I’d be sitting there thinking “WTF?  I am so confused!”  Don’t even think about replacing your friend.  It already sounds like she’s trying to control you.  If you give in this, she’ll likely continue with nonsense like this.  I agree with pp – I too hope you live FAR away from this crazy woman. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve never heard of that custom and if it’s not traditional in your country, I’m super confused as to why she’d expect that…

Post # 8
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@redheadem:  Same here!

I would not back down. Let her act like an immature child, that’s her choice.

Post # 9
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would not cave. If you do, she will behave like this every time she doesn’t get her way.

I would let her know that your best friend is your Maid/Matron of Honor, and if she chooses not to get ready with you all, it’s her decision, but you wish she would. (If you don’t want her too, leave that part out).

I’ve never heard of a Mother-In-Law being Maid/Matron of Honor. Closest I got was an aunt being a bridesmaid, standing up for the bride in lieu of a cousin that had died.

 

Post # 10
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

wow…this by far is the most ridiculous Maid/Matron of Honor issue I have heard to this day. 

I think your Future Mother-In-Law overstepped BIG time on this.  Please don’t budge in.  You shouldn’t.  She should be happy to play the Mother of the Groom role.  Maid/Matron of Honor is from the bride’s side.  That lady is out of her mind!!!!!

i don’t think you should make peace by asking her to be Maid/Matron of Honor (in history I never heard of groom’s mom being Maid/Matron of Honor.  If it’s a tradition in some area, please do tell)

I think if you do, some time down the road, you will really regret not having your best friend stand next to you at the altar.  I am glad your Fiance is on your side on this.  Have him talk to his mom on this.  Be firm. 

May I ask who’s paying for the wedding?  The reason I ask is, if you guys are, then it’s more reason to tell Mother-In-Law to play nice or else she can’t come 😛

Post # 11
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wooow, like PPs said, she takes the cake when it comes to crazy MILs! *but she’d probably complain about it ;-P* 

I’d send this one FH’s way. Our rule is ‘your family, your issue to address.’ Even if Future Mother-In-Law is having an issue/disagreement about me/a choice I made, FH is the one to address her (firmly) because they have the closer relationship, and him and I are now a team. I’d encourage (aka- strongly suggest) to FH that he handles this one by telling her that you’ve already picked your Maid/Matron of Honor, Future Mother-In-Law gets the role of Mother of the Groom, and that it’s non negotiable/not up for discussion. 

She is being rediculous, time to shut her down. Giving in to this will lead to a life of battles, like @julies1949: pointed out.

Post # 12
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

it’s your wedding do what YOU want!!!! I have never ever heard of a Mother-In-Law being a Maid/Matron of Honor, where is this tradition from? Where is your Mother-In-Law from? why was she expecting ths???  How odd! Does she expect your father to be your FIs best man??  This is so silly, how sad that she is trying to manipulate your wedding 🙁 

 Do not back down, this is YOUR special day, you need your bestfriend at your side not your mother in law!!!

Post # 13
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have NEVER heard of the Future Mother-In-Law being the Maid/Matron of Honor. That is ridiculous. Definitely not an American tradition.  Your Fiance should tell her she needs to back off on that and that it is making you very upset and it isn’t her place to do that….her place is as MOG and that comes with it’s own special status

Post # 14
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

Wow…I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.  It’s your wedding so it’s up to you who you decide to choose as Maid/Matron of Honor.  I’ve never heard of Future Mother-In-Law being Maid/Matron of Honor…it should be your best friend, not Future Mother-In-Law. I wouldn’t do it just to appease her…she doesn’t deserve it.  She’s acting like a spoiled child.  I’d have Fiance talk with his mother and take care of this issue. 

Post # 15
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Mother-In-Law as MOH?????? What??? No. Do not back down just to keep teh peace, if you do, she will just find some other ridiculous demand to manufacture out of thin air for the sake of drama.

Post # 16
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have never herad of Mother-In-Law as an Maid/Matron of Honor. Don’t back down. She’ll get over it.

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