(Closed) Future Mother in law issue.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly I don’t think it’ll be worth the battle.  At least she’s going to look at long dresses with you.  Just do your best to reassure her that they look good on her.  You could also try once more to explain that you feel a short dress will be too casual and that you really prefer her to wear a long one.  Its ultimately her choice and whatever that choice is I wouldn’t let it bother you, its not worth the extra stress.

Post # 4
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is not at all worth damaging your relationship with her over. She’s a grown woman and can dress herself. If you’ve told her that most people will be in long gowns and she still prefers a short dress, then she’s made her decision. Perhaps when she sees your mother’s dress, she’ll reconsider — but shorter dresses can still be sufficiently formal. I really would advise you not to try to control this choice for the sake of a uniform “look.” Your relationship with her is more important than if you can see her legs in the wedding pictures. If she chooses something too informal, she is the only one who will look silly.


Post # 5
1785 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

not worth the fight, could cause bad karma. Although I will say she will look silly in pictures.

Post # 6
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It really is not a big deal. A lovely short dress will NOT “ruin” the look of the bridal party.

Post # 7
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can’t imagine even caring about this. Definitely not a battle I would choose to fight.

Post # 8
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Your wedding will be beautiful no matter what.  If she is happy and comfortable in a short dress (and they can be formal) she will cause you less stress, there will be no bad blood in the air, and she won’t hold it against you forever (imagine every Christmas her bringing up how you made her wear a dress that she hated!)  Of course you should help her try on a few long ones just to see but if she insists on a short dress, support that.  She is you Fiance mom and she is probably stressed about what she’ll wear on the proudest day of her life too.  Help her find a short dress you can both approve of.  Besides, on the big day, you will be too wrapped up in your own crazy awesome wedding that you won’t care what anyone else is wearing <3

Post # 9
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would let it go.  It’s not worth the fight, and hard feelings it could cause.  Pick your battles.  There are only a few pictures that she will be in, and if she looks good in her dress, what does it matter in the long run.

Post # 10
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t understand why this matters at all. Actually, I don’t think it does. 

Post # 11
2952 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

Not worth stressing over. 

To be honest I prefer shorter dresses on my mum who is 5′ as long dresses just swamp her.

At the end of the day she needs to feel comfortable in what she is wearing. 

Post # 12
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Why on earth would you care what she’s wearing?  She’s an adult and can pick out whatever she wants to wear.

Post # 13
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I’ve heard it’s customary to give the mothers a general guideline for what to wear, but I don’t see how any good can come of this. She’s told you she doesn’t want to wear a long dress. Even though it’s air-conditioned indoors, I can’t fully blame her for wanting something shorter in between. If she’s not going to be indecent – I did once attend a wedding where a girl wore a dress that had such a low neckline/high hemline that she looked ready for the club – I don’t really see the concern.

Table it.


Post # 14
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

Long dress , short dress… as long as she’s dressed it will be ok!


Post # 15
40 posts

Trust me , NOT worth the fight. Unlike me , atleast you are on speaking terms with your Future Mother-In-Law. I say count your blessings on this one

Post # 16
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with everyone else and I am a (so far) a 3 time MOB.  I have one son, and I have to say I hope his future wife understands that I can choose and dress myself without her input.  I don’t mean that to be snarky, I just think it is overstepping one’s bounds to be trying to  give input on the clothes of those outside the wedding party because it doesn’t fit your vision.

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