(Closed) Future Mother In Law issues

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 16
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I would just go on with what you had planned. Or talk to a couple of his family members and see if they think they will be able to make it. My husband and I got married this past December 19th, and my SIL turned 21 the day after. We had the DJ play happy birthday for her and at the after party we all took birthday shots at midnight. Everyone had a great time! If your SIL is truly okay with it then I don’t see a problem!

Post # 17
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Yeahhh my guess is that Mother-In-Law thinks it is too close to Christmas for people to travel from multiple states and she’s using Future Sister-In-Law as an excuse in an attempt to be tactful and not tell you you were off your rocker to book that date to begin with…

12/18 will be difficult (and expensive) for people to travel and it’s the last weekend for preparations and shopping before the holiday. Your Mother-In-Law is trying to steer you away from creating this undue stress on your guests or having a high decline rate By using Future Sister-In-Law as an excuse. 

Post # 18
201 posts
Helper bee

I may have missed it but who is paying for the wedding? I’m not a believer in 100% of who pays gets to make 100% of decisions but it does have a factor.

One reason to stand up to her is this: part of getting married is starting a new family unit.  You and your spouse.  This is an important first test of how you work together in times of conflict.  It will not be the last time that issues, either with Future Mother-In-Law or anyone else, come up.  You need to work together to make the decision on what your position is.  Also, I am a big believer in dealing with only the family on your side.  In this instance, you should not be dealing with your Future Mother-In-Law – your Fiance should be doing that.  If she wants to discuss, do not engage with her unless he is there and let him handle it.

Post # 19
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

paigecham23:  I don’t have much advice, but I love the idea of a Christmas-themed wedding. Could you post a picture of a snowflake themed dress? I’m having trouble picturing what that looks like.

Post # 20
6533 posts
Bee Keeper

It is a tough time of year to travel for a wedding–you’d have to be my BFF to be there the week before Christmas out-of-town–but your Future Mother-In-Law sounds manipulative. Can you have your Fiance deal with her? And copy your Future Sister-In-Law on any issues related to her birthday?

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