OMG! WHY did you take her berating you for 2 hours? get in a car & leave, check into a hotel or B & B if you aren’t paying any other bills (like rent & food) you should have some cash.
That being said, $500k job vs. an hourly banking job & substitute/tutoring jobs for you? Should you be getting married, at all when your finances are so unstable & neither of you is living independently?
You don’t want to live “that far from your family”? He will be your family.
What does he want to do about this job? Is his family expecting him to take over this family business one day? Does he want to? Do they have a position for you? Perhaps since you are tutoring, you can segue into corporate training? As to the health insurance…ask! If the position does not offer benefits, buy a private policy that will include a domestic partner (you) $500k should make this easy for you both. if the family has a plan to develop him to assume the CEO spot, he needs to have an open discussion and get a formal career development plan for him IN WRITING from them. if they can’t provide this, it’s sheer manipulation & BS. Take another career route.
You need to have a BIG talk with your fiance about your goals & expectations for the future..not at his parent or yours. Go away for a weekend, even if it’s camping, and talk it out. If you plan on having children, would you quit your job to stay home? In that case, you need to weigh his carrer choices more heavily than your own, as he will ending up carrying the entire financial load.
Stop crying and strategize with your fiance. Then present a united front to his parents. You are crying over possibilities, rather than facts. Life and marriage are about change, compromise, and working together toward future goals, even if it means individual personal sacrifice at times. If you have a minister, I would suggest that you go through pre-wedding counseling with him/her. I think it would help you both and help you navigate this transition from childhood to adulthood (which living with mom & dad, in their minds, keeps you in “childhood” despita evidence to the contrary). I know this from past experience.
Chin up! Your Future Mother-In-Law senses weakness and will continue to do this as long as you (& he) allow her to act disrespectfully to you. If you feel like you are going to cry, have a code with your fiance, stand up & say that you find her tone and words to be unpleasant and you will not be treated disrespectfully. Tell her, CALMLY, that you’ll be happy to discuss various topics with her…calmly & rationally, but for now, you are removing yourselves from this particular situation. Then leave. You and he must be on the same page with this, or it will not work.