- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2001
Hi everyone. I’ll just jump right in. Before my fiance and I were engaged, I loved his family. His mom likes to brag occasionally, and does always want people to know that she is the best/richest/most together/etc. However, it never bothered me. She is very well off, has a very large group of well-off (gossipy, judgmental) friends. In contrast, my family are not nearly as well off. In fact, they are struggling financially right now.
When my fiance proposed, my Future Mother-In-Law immediately declared herself wedding planner. I was pretty much okay with this, because I know she is good at it. I had tons of ideas and she promised she would help execute them. She also kept telling me not to worry about cost, etc. etc. She immedately told everyone we were getting married via facebook before my fiance and I had a chance to even tell our friends & family (that’s another story), and it has been nonstop since then. The weding became a growing monster. I am not going to lie, I really like every aspect of it, but I really, really should have kept the cost down and not let her talk me into stuff. For example, I said we would just have a DJ, and she said “no honey, you need to have a band, I will pay for it.” This continued with almost every aspect of the wedding. I finally realized this isn’t MY wedding, this is her opportunity to impress her friends and family. Here is where the problem lies:
My family is busting their butts to pull together $9,000-$10,000 to pay for the venue, photographer, rehearsal dinner, invitations, save the dates, etc. Future Mother-In-Law is paying for pretty much everything she insisted be “bigger & better.” (NOTE: I consented everytime she suggested to just get a nice caterer/band/etc. at her expense).
My family is very bummed out that they are not able to throw the whole wedding for their daughter themselves. I feel horrible, because I let the event get out of control, when I could have easily kept it in check with a $10,000 budget. However, now, I saw today in an email she forwarded me that she is telling people she is the “wedding planner and payer.” I have never been so furious in my whole life! First of all, how is it appropriate for her to be telling random guests that she is paying for the wedding?! And second of all, she’s making my parents’ $10,000 contribution seem like it’s nothing, whereas they are going broke from it! I can’t believe how much class that she lacks. I know she will not be able to resist making sure everyone knows that she “planned and payed” at the wedding as well. Not only does it make me furious, but I know that it will really, really hurt my parents’ feelings.
I don’t know what I can do! I know she didn’t mean for me to see that email. But I don’t even understand why she is telling people this in the first place. I immediately sent an email to my fiance, Future Mother-In-Law, and Future Father-In-Law giving an “update” on what my parents were covering for the wedding to remind her that she is NOT the only person paying.