(Closed) Future mother in law threatened to boycott wedding

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
162 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Crying babies/children are the bane of my existence and the reason I want no children part of my future wedding as well as they’re unpredictable. It’s your wedding day and you have already compromised it’s only fair they forego the ceremony without the child. I would not cancel my wedding. If they don’t show up that’s their own fault and a decision they will live to regret, maybe. I understand she can’t leave the child at home because most of the people she trusts may be at the wedding? An area for her or her husband to stay with the baby is very accommodating of you 

Post # 33
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

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jillbean1217:  Truer words have never been spoken on the ‘Bee. 

Post # 34
13244 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would have handled it much differently than you did. I would have wanted both my SIL and Brother-In-Law at the ceremony no matter what. I might have offered on site childcare for the duration of the ceremony and reception, as a relief to them,  but would have let her bring the baby once it was obvious that it was their preference and a huge issue. But your in laws did not behave well at all. Nobody wins here, which is sad. 

Post # 35
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I love how everyone gets their childfree weddings, but once everyone has kids and it’s your turn to get married, OH MY GOSH why aren’t you changing the rules?? I’m not budging on my no kids policy & so far we have 1 maybe who isn’t at all butthurt and is deciding whether or not they can or want to come without the kids. I fully understand if they do not want to attend and would not give it a 2nd thought except to say ‘bummer, let’s plan a time we can do something with everyone!’. Unfortunately a lot of new mothers expect everyone to bend to them and refuse to even consider compromises. I say stand your ground you are doing them a huge favor allowing the baby to even come to the reception! 

Post # 36
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

One of my bridesmaids is leaving her 3 mth old baby with her mom. It will be her 1st outing without the baby and CANNOT wait! At this point they’re basically bullying you and if you allow them to, this sets the tone on what you will allow for the rest of your relationship with them. goodluck!

Post # 37
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

You know, I have 5 kids and 6 grandkids. I don’t buy off on nursing infants must be invited. It is “nice” if you do, but it should not be required. Most women have to go back to work 6 weeks after the baby is born – you better believe we had to have a plan to continue nursing and working.

Someone’s decision to procreate should have nothing to do with your guest list. If childcare or separation anxiety or nursing schedules present a problem then you decline going and wish the couple well. Having a baby means having to make choices when he/she is not invited.

I really think if anyone is going to talk to Future Sister-In-Law it should be your Fiance – you stay out of it. If they decide to go ahead and boycott, call their bluff, “I’m really sorry you feel that way” and he can walk away. You are asking for the baby to be in a cry room for a freaking half an hour.

Post # 38
889 posts
Busy bee

leaving my child 3 months was unheard of ! I never did that. Also I would NEVER bring my 3 month old around that many people ! I would be a nervous wreck !

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