(Closed) Future Mother In Law troubles… eek!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
624 posts
Busy bee

Some people think that giving the couple money is a gift to use how they best see fit (i.e. hands off) while others feel that giving them money entitles them to have a say (which is your FMIL).  Money=control.

Honestly, if I was in your shoes, I would hand back the money (I know you said that’s not realistic) and do something on a budget you can do (it can be $1000) or elope. 

Another reason I don’t like getting money from family, or even planning without the money in YOUR hand, is that I’ve read too many stories where the couple signs contracts thinking they have the money to cover it and then all of a sudden, the family needs the money back and they aren’t able to cover it.

My advice isn’t much help but I would elope in less than a second flat than accept money from my Future Mother-In-Law.  Like yours mine has a million strings attached.  But I think you need to say something or you’ll be dealing with this the rest of you life and she’ll have a lot of control in your life.

Post # 4
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It seems that you have two issues wrapped in one. First, your Future Mother-In-Law is controlling the money therefore she has some control on the wedding. Second, your Future Mother-In-Law is not sure you picked the right photographer.

For the first issue, you are going to have to talk to your Fiance and decide if it’s worth $3000 to have her be so controlling.  For the second issue, maybe you could set up a meeting with the photographer and your Future Mother-In-Law can come.  This way she can see that the photographer is credible.  

Good luck.

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