Future SIL announced pregnancy same day I announced I had to cancel my wedding

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

I’m kind of mind blown at how many people think it’s “insensitive” for a family member to announce a pregnancy just because a wedding date is being postponed. Ffs, it’s not like the two of you broke up. You’re literally just getting married on a different day. They’re having a baby. If anything, I think you’re being ridiculous.

Post # 47
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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deannamarie :  okay I thought I was the only one who thought the OP was being ridiculous. This wouldn’t bother me like how are the two connected at all?? 

Post # 48
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

It sucks that it happened in the same day.  Maybe his parents were really upset about the wedding being postponed so they called everyone back with happy news to cheer everyone up?  Hard to say without knowing everyone personally.  Sounds like it wasn’t done to be mean.

Post # 49
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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deannamarie :  
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furmama44 :  Yeah I’m with you guys. Literally everyone is postponing their wedding right now. Announcing that you’re postponing a September wedding hardly counts as news these days. I mean, I’m sure it sucks for the OP. But announcing a postponement that has been inevitable for the past 6 weeks doesn’t really have anything to do with your brother and SIL announcing that they’re having a baby.

Post # 50
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Wait- OP you’re upset that she announced her pregnancy to her OWN family? To her own parents? You’re not even their child or her sister. Why should your feelings about rescheduling impact them hearing about her pregnancy?

I’m certain that her parents would not want to hear about her pregnancy a week or days later because their other child had to reschedule a wedding. They certainly wouldn’t want that news delayed because the fiancé  of their child is sensitive about rescheduling. 

 

Post # 51
Member
2285 posts
Buzzing bee

I feel like if you can’t understand why it’s “grimy” (perfect word choice, btw) to make a big fat family announcement about your happy news mere hours after your immediate family member announces something really upsetting, that says a lot in itself…

Post # 52
Member
3487 posts
Sugar bee

These days, I think people are particularly eager to receive good/happy news. In the case of this family, I have the feeling the news of a pregnancy closely following the sad – not tragic – news of a wedding’s date postponement was received with gratitude and much joy.

 

Post # 53
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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coffeecakez :  So her feelings don’t matter because she isn’t a literal blood relative? What? Hell, if a coworker that I’m not close with announced news they are sad about I’m not going to immediately say, “teehee well guess what I just got a promotion.” I’m sorry I’m just so confused with that logic, announcing good news IMMEDIATELY after someone just announced news that was upsetting to them is insensitive no matter how you slice it.

It wouldn’t have killed her SIL to wait one day. Obviously the OP was upset about her wedding having to be postponed which even though a lot of people have had to do recently due to the pandemic doesn’t mean it is lsss than a big deal to some people. It isn’t her SIL’s job (or anyone’s on here) job to determine if OP ‘s problem is big and important enough to be upset about. OP apparently made it clear in her text that she was sad about it and then just to pretty much just go ahead and say. “Well screw you and your moment of sadness I’m going to take this exact time to announce my pregnancy” is absurd. It’s called having a little sensitivity and this women is marrying her brother she is a member of the family and her feelings shouldn’t be treated like dog shit because she isn’t an actual sister. I just find it really hard to believe that in that very moment was when she had to announce her pregnancy.

LOL to all the people on here playing problem Olympics. Maybe we should have a list of problems that are deemed worthy enough to be upset about and a list of people that are deemed worthy enough to care about. Because remember if you aren’t a sister/parent/child your feelings don’t matter.

Post # 54
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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emilyofnewmoon :  I agree i love the word choice of “grimy” in this case. 

Post # 55
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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19mattituck :  Because the SIL announced the pregnancy not her brother. People arent in charge of another adult’s actions.

Post # 56
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

There is nothing insensitive about a woman announcing her pregnancy TO HER FAMILY ffs some people are so damn sensitive. She obviously had that day chosen for whatever reason. You cannot expect someone to hold off sharing those news just because your wedding got rescheduled. If anything you’re being insensitive for not being happy for her. 

Post # 57
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

NO ONE DIED lmaoooo y’all are all drama queens. She can be upset about rescheduling her wedding but to be upset her SIL announced her pregnancy is ridiculous!! 

Post # 58
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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averagegirl :  why do you put her family in all caps? They aren’t strangers to OP either. She is family too not blood family but family and OP isn’t entitled to her feelings? Really announcing an hour later seems a little sketch to me they couldn’t let another member of their family have time to be upset? Just because she isn’t announcing a death doesn’t mean she isn’t allowed to be upset. 

Post # 59
Member
2285 posts
Buzzing bee

Again, if you don’t understand intuitively why SIL’s behavior was insensitive… it’s probably not something anyone will be able to explain to you. 🤷‍♀️

I really feel like I’m in the twilight zone reading some of these responses. Not sure where the “drama” is either… last I checked OP is not planning to say anything, she’s just venting anonymously on an Internet forum. 

Post # 60
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

Because if my SIL announced that she’s pregnant I would be OVER THE MOON. And I sure as hell would not be upset with her for announcing it to her own mother and father and brother. I wouldn’t sit there dwelling on how she should’ve waited until after my announcement. Rescheduling a wedding which everyone would’ve anticipated anyway is not comparable to announcing pregnancy. Yes it is drama – get over it. 

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