Post # 1
Throughout our engagement I haven’t tried to get to know my future husband’s brother and his wife. She did add me as her friend on Facebook. I probably sound like a snob but we have nothing in common and they tend to create a lot of problems. So I just acknowledge and say hello whenever I see them. (Btw, they have been married for about ten years band had a small get together at someone’s backyard. Btw, all of these years they have been living at their parent’s house). So last year my future sister in law asked about our wedding planning. We naively shared our plans. Well she and my fiance’s brother confronted my in-laws about paying for our wedding expenses. I was very irritated because they are not paying for anything 2. I don’t want our wedding plans to be part of their immature family drama. Ever since then I don’t discuss anything wedding related with my future sister and brother in law.
I am pretty much being a bridezilla when it comes to not inviting more than 100. I’ve told my fiance plenty of times to make sure that his side of the family does not bring additional guests. Meanwhile, he recently told me that he thinks I am high maintenance and he is not sure he could keep up with my expensive habits. I have a pretty good head on my shoulders, and I am not spending way more than I make. I work very hard and when I have disposable income I spoil myself and buy my own stuff. I told him that I don’t expect him to provide anything for me except for joint household expenses and savings. We are roughly spending about $10g-12g on our wedding which includes everything. We are paying for everything. I know his parents think that we are stupidly wasting a lot of money. I think their biggest problem is that they won’t be able to invite everyone they want but they are not willing to pay for the additional costs to invite more than 100 guests.
Today I re-activated my Facebook account. I found a recent facebook convo between my future sister in law and my soon to be cousin. FSIL pretty much talked shiz about me. She said that I am a high maintenance snob, she mentioned that it is lame that we are only going to invite 100 guests and apparently beieves we are only going to serve wine so she is going to bring her own 40. I honestly don’t care what she thinks about me. I think she is jealous that she didn’t have a wedding reception. I think she may be bitter about our happiness, especially because her wedding anniversary reception was canceled due to my future brother in law cheating ways. I am extremely irritated that she posted those comments on Facebook because I feel it was extremely inapropriate to have publicly bashed me the way she did.
I am not going to confront her because most likely it will be blown out of propotion. I don’t know if I should show my fiance the comments she posted on-line. I also want to talk to him to find out why he keeping her posted with our wedding plans. Everything she mentioned is not accurate but she seems to know about our guest list problem. I also don’t know if my fiance is telling his family things about me.
Post # 3
This is just stupid drama. I wouldn’t bring up the the recent bashing you find on facebook. No need to create more problems, she is just jealous. You and your fiance need to agree and thats it, if you’re set on 100 guests, and he wants to add another 10, just let him, he is paying for this wedding too. We didn’t want to invite more than 135, ended up inviting 139. Not a big deal, you alwasy get regrets, the numbers will balance out. Even if your bar option is wine only, people have the option to buy their own alchohol. If the future SIL wants to look ghetto and bring in a 40, only to be approached by the staff, thats her problem and reflects her only! Good luck.
Post # 4
Thank you, mishagirls79! I have another question, he wonders why I hesitate to go out with his brother and SIL. What she did on FB it only makes me want to be around her less. Do you think it’s a good idea I say “see this is why I don’t feel comfortable around her?”
Post # 5
I would show it to him. Ya it is facebook drama but when it comes to the planning and dealing with family you and Fiance need to be on a united front.
Nip that shiz in the bud before it gets worse.
Post # 6
@ccbarre: If he is questioning why you do not like to go out with Brother-In-Law and his wife than show him the recent facebook bashing. And that you feel like future BIL’s wife just doesn’t like you and its hard to be fake and pretend interest.
Keep in mind this may end up resulting in more family drama. Might be best to get it out in the open if its affecting your social lives with the family. Maybe stress that you are not trying to cause more drama, but would like to try and resolve it so the families can get along.
Post # 8
It’s rude of her to bash you on facebook to your cousin. On what sounds like one of their public walls. It’s good of you to rise above it and ignore it, I think this is the right approach. I would try to keep the drama to a minimum and ignore whatever she does if possible, and I wouldn’t go out of my way to try to bond with her or make her happy. Yes I’d keep Fiance in the loop about everything she does that involves you, including show him that post.
ETA: Oh, it’s her cousin-in-law, that makes slightly more sense now, but it’s still rude. Even if they are close, criticizing a third person on a public fb wall is not the way to go, ever.
Post # 9
I’d let it go with her, but show your Fiance. He needs to have your back on this. Agreed that maybe being a little flexible aboue the 100-110 guests thing is a good idea! =)
Post # 11
Hmm, I would be more concerned that my fiance thinks I’m high maintenince in what appears to be a negative sense, and that my Future Sister-In-Law has the same exact sentiments and same wording rather than worrying about Facebook drama…that seems to be the bigger issue.
How does your Fiance feel about these two (FSIL and her husband)? How did your Fiance react to you telling him to make sure his family don’t bring extra guests?
Hopefully everything gets sorted out for you!
Post # 12
I would put a stop to that shit right away. If that were my Future Sister-In-Law, I would absolutely confront her. Not saying you need to get in an arguement, but she should know its not okay to treat you that way- you are going to be family and forever is a loooong time to put up with bitchy comments behind your back.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@ccbarre: She’s going to bring her own 40 to the wedding. Priceless. That says everything I need to know about your Future Sister-In-Law and why you shouldn’t give two s#its about what she thinks.