(Closed) Future sis in law thinks she’s a bridesmaid.. and she’s not!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What exactly did they say that led you to that conclusion? Weddings unforunately can bring out hosility sometimes and just take into account a lot of unmarried women can get jealous without really meaning it.

Post # 4
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This sounds like my situation too.  I actually really don’t like my fsil, she is a self centered bitch, who thinks that she is a princess (long story where I’ve experienced this personally).  I was just as blunt as blunt came be and told her straight up, that there just wasn’t room and maybe we can find another aspect for her to be involved in during the wedding, just not standing up at the altar with me.  

Hope this helps.  Good luck I know what you are going through.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i would be honest now instead of later. if they bring it up again you need to say that you have chosen your BM’s and you hope she understands that there is only so many BM’s you can fit and the ones chosen have been life long support to you.

can you give her another task, like a reading???

Post # 6
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Could you expand on what she said, and how you responded at the time?  (Just wondering if you misunderstood what she said.) I often think including Future In-Laws is a good way to start off your new family on the right foot.  But I’m not sure it’s worth it in your case.  You say your Fi isn’t close to her.  What does your Fiance say?  Unfortunately setting her straight would probably have been easiest right when she made the comment.  But working with where you are now, I think you should call her up and be short and sweet about her not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Just say “Sorry I didn’t say anything when you brought it up.  I was caught off guard.  But I already have my maids set.  I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about being in the wedding.  But Fiance and I were planning on asking you to do a reading.  We’d be honored if you’d do that.”  (Or try to give her some other meaningful job.)

Good luck.

Post # 7
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can see how you are concerned about the potential for drama, but I agree with the previous posters that you will have to let her know, privately, that while you appreciate her intentions, that you have already selected your wedding party, and offer her a different role. I don’t blame you for not saying anything at the time the comment was made, that would have only embarrassed her and made the situation even stickier….

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