Future Sister In Law

posted 2 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

ohana33 :  No you don’t. Bridesmaids can be who ever you want it to be.  I didn’t have any of my SIL’s part of the wedding party.  My DH had his 2 brothers and his nephew and I had two good friends and my niece.  

Post # 3
2301 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Nope.  I wasn’t in either of my SIL’s weddings and DH’s sister wasn’t in ours.

Post # 4
7060 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You don’t have to ask anyone to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 5
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Maybe ask your groom.  For my DH, he would be very upset if his sister wasn’t included.  Because I respect him (and I’m always trying to form and nurture positive relationships with his family), she will be a bridesmaid.  In turn, it would not feel right for my brother not to be a groomsman.  His brothers will be included too.  In the south where I grew up at least, it’s tradition for family to be included.

But ultimately, the decision is yours.

Post # 6
658 posts
Busy bee

She definitely doesn’t have to be

Post # 7
279 posts
Helper bee

It’s up to you.  If FH had a sister and we got along I would ask her.

Post # 8
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Yeah I didn’t ask my future sister in law but then their mom was displeased and hinted to me, so she’s gonna be a groom’s maid and my brother will be a brides man. I like my fsil just fine, but I just am not super close with her and I have like no money so I was trying to really limit the number of bridesmaids. But they’re southern, and it’s apparently pretty traditional in the American south to have lots of bridesmaids and include in laws? So I didn’t know that. So now I’m paying for hair and makeup etc for a shit ton of people and that’s frustrating. But whatever, hopefully everyone is happy. ANYWAY I say you don’t have to and hopefully you can avoid it without hurt feelings. But if feelings are hurt, I would just suck it up and include her. 

Post # 9
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

You get to pick who you want.

My fiancé has 5 sisters, no way am I asking them all!

Post # 10
82 posts
Worker bee

Nope. Ultimately bridesmaids are whoever you pick and generally I don’t believe there’s any expectation as to who that should be (obviously a little different for southern America from what previous people have said.)

I was a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding and honestly, I would have preferred to just be a guest, or a grooms woman or something. I spent lots of time with my SIL doing all the bridesmaids things and barely got to see my brother or family at all. 

Post # 11
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Not required at all. It’s a nice gesture though since she’ll be family for many years to come. I included my two FSIL even though we aren’t close. If I had a tiny bridal party I wouldn’t have asked them.

Post # 12
211 posts
Helper bee

You certainly don’t have to if you don’t want to. However, I am going to invite my FSIL to be a bridesmaid, because while I’m not super close to her (but we get along well), I think the wedding will be a great way to get to know her better and become closer! She’s going to be a part of my life from now on, so that’s why I want to include her. Family trumps friends in this case.

Honestly, you could go either way here. I like the idea of talking to your FH to see what he thinks too!

Post # 13
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think it’s a nice gesture…but you don’t have to. In our case, I have a brother and my DH has a step sister so I had her as a BM and my bro was a groomsman..I couldn’t imagine not having my brother in my wedding so I felt like I needed to have her on my side to balance it out. We weren’t really close at all but I was very happy to have her as a BM, she definitely was a huge help! I feel like it’s made us closer too, and I am glad I included her because she is my family now.

Post # 14
3 posts
  • Wedding: June 2018

You definitely don’t have to, but I do think it depends on the circumstance. For instance, my FI and his sister are very close, as are their entire families. I personally am not close to his sister (she is a hot mess), but knew it would speak volumes to his family for me to have her as a bridesmaid. A little nervous for some aspects (very flaky/selfish) but knew ultimately it was a nice gesture to start off with as I’ll be entering their family and want to start off on a great note! Again, all depends on circumstances, but definitely don’t feel pressure or like you have to have more bridesmaids or leave off a friend you want just to include her.

Post # 15
350 posts
Helper bee

ohana33 :  I would ask her to keep the peace in the family. While she may not be close to you if she is close to your future husband it is a good and welcoming move. If you don’t you risk the consequences of upsetting her and her mother and father and your future husband

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