(Closed) Future sister in law ALWAYS has to do one step "better" than me

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think your Fiance needs to adress this… WITH HIS BROTHER.

If i was him i’d be like: “Dude, your girlfriend is always flirty with me, can you please make her stop?”

Does your Future Brother-In-Law know about this? what the hell?

Post # 33
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You need to ask your bf to distance himself from her. She sits next to him on the couch? He gets up and moves. She buys him an expensive gift? He gives it back and says he can’t accept it. Rinse and repeat.

Post # 34
Member
373 posts
Helper bee

On my goodness… If that is your FI’s brother’s Girlfriend in that other thread she is batshit selfish! I’m so sorry for all you are going through!

Post # 35
Hostess
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t think she’s trying to get with him, that would be insane. Maybe she thinks that’s the only way to make guys like her. 

The good news is there can’t be a competition if she’s alone. Your Fiance needs to stop being nice to her about it. If she sits down and cuddles up next to him he should stand up and walk away. If she gives him a crazy expensive gift he should not accept it. He may feel uncomfortable being rude but right now he’s just encouraging her.

Post # 36
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I was a little confused at the start there about the Future Sister-In-Law part haha.. IMO from what you’ve said she definately is a little too “friendly”.. If you’ve already asked her to stop, there’s not much more to do then cat fight really:P

good luck, I hope it works out for you:)

Post # 37
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Yeah, I initially thought this was his sister, so this entire post was creepy until I saw the indication that your fiance is the brother of her boyfriend. Now, a little less creepy, but still inappropriate. What’s concerning to me is that you’ve indicated that you find her behavior with your boyfriend uncomfortable…and she proceeds to do nothing about it. Talk about speaking volumes.

The good news is that you likely are not the only person noticing this: I’m sure it makes her boyfriend uncomfortable. The entire family uneasy, really. You’ve talked to your fiance about it; he finds it uncomfortable. Maybe practicing some phrases to say or things to do could give him the confidence to turn it off when she gets started. I.E.:

Getting up immediately when she sits next to him, or sitting in such a way that she can’t sit next to him. Not responding beyond a “That’s nice, thank you,” to her grandiose gestures and gifts (keeping it curt could discourage all of this in the future). Barring that, an immediate, “Please don’t do that,” when she sits too close or starts getting too affectionate could be more embarrassing for her.

Sorry that you’re going through this.

Post # 38
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lenabee:  So is your fiance incapable of getting up and moving away when she cuddles up to him on the couch?

The real problem is not your Future Sister-In-Law. The real problem is your fiance. He could shut down the flirting if he wanted to, but he doesn’t.

No one needs to talk to Future Sister-In-Law or Future Brother-In-Law. How they conduct their relationship is not your business. 

The person who needs to change is your fiance: he needs a stern talking to.

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