- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
My finance’s family is giant, and pushy and is now making demand on how we plan our wedding, even who is in the wedding.
We are having a small to medium sized wedding to control costs; I had wanted to keep the Bride/Groom parties similarly small – only 4 on each side. I had chosen my two closest friends and my two cousins; my fiancée chose three friends and his (much) younger brother.
I’m an only child, and grew-up with minimal ties to my extended family, meanwhile my fiancée is the complete opposite. He has one sister 3 years older than him, a half-brother 15 years younger, and enormous extended families.
Now that we’re planning our wedding, his family is making all sorts of demands. We announced that we wanted a Friday wedding since we are footing 80% of the bill, and immediately his family pushed back that it would be too inconvenient for THEM. (We explained that we’d be happy to move to Saturday if they’d be willing to pay the difference. After that, they accepted Friday). Now his mother & sister are demanding that his older sister be “a part” of the wedding – code for ‘Bridal party’, since Greek Orthodox weddings are clergy-only – since she is “the groom’s sister”. We offered have her hand out programs – the same task she assigned to me at her own wedding 2 years ago – but his mother had a fit. She only wants to be a part of it because she feels entitled. Her brother was in her wedding, and she should be in his. That’s the way she sees it.
Here’s the thing, I don’t like his sister, and he doesn’t care for her much either. She’s bossy, and a know-it-all, and will likely take every little thing she doesn’t like about the wedding and report back to her whole family to gossip about! She had her own wedding only two years ago, and I imagine that every little thing I do will be met with “when I planned my wedding…“, or “it would be better to…” and I think my other bridesmaids will kill her, if I don’t. As an added bonus, she’s currently also 5 months pregnant.
I don’t want this to be a giant issue at my wedding or beyond, but in the same breath I really don’t want her to make planning the wedding a living hell. Plus, I really don’t like the precedent of allowing her and her mother to strong-arm their way into the decisions we make as a couple.
I’m so very, very lost.