Post # 1
My 3 sisters, my cousin and my two future sister in laws are my bridal party. Part of my culture is Thai and I’m going to be wearing a Thai wedding dress for part of the reception. My sisters and my cousin would really like to wear the Thai bridesmaid dresses to be a part of it too. I asked my two sister in laws if they’d like to wear one since everyone else will be. I didn’t get a response from either of them when I messaged them then one just asked a question, “What about the groomsmen?”. I responded they’re not wearing anything other than tuxes and then no response after that. Later after I ended up calling them to get an answer and they do not want to wear one.
I didn’t want it to be required since it is extra money but the Thai bridesmaid dress is around $60. I’m having them choose their own bridesmaid dress from Azazie which many of the dresses are in the $80-150 range depending on the style. They’re Cambodian so the cultural dress is VERY VERY similar but with tiny little differences. They can wear these skirts more than once to the temple, our cultures’ new years, So they can wear it more than once…and their mom buys skirts sometimes from Thailand for them for their Cambodian temple.
I feel a bit sad that they don’t want to participate and it looks like it’s separating my family from his family when the whole point of me asking them to be bridesmaids was to “unite” the family together in a way. Of course, I’m not going to force them, but it just bums me out a little.
Post # 2
ehh, it’s nice that they’re participating in your wedding. Personally I would jump at the chance to wear something like that. However obviously not everyone feels that way. It’s not*their* culture after all.
Post # 3
I think it would be neat to participate in, but maybe they worry they’ll be seen as disrespectful of your culture…like they’re playing dress up? Maybe you can add some accessories for their other dresses that can reflect your culture but don’t make them feel awkward.
Post # 4
It’s pretty much the same culture but very slightly different because they were under the same kingdrom rule lol. Anyway they called back saying if I really wanted them to, they will wear one for me. So I guess I can have them wear it but I feel really guilty about it like I’m “forcing” it.
Post # 5
Is the problem that they don’t want to wear the dress, or that they don’t want to buy two dresses? Tbh I wouldn’t want to buy two dresses either, especially if it wasn’t my normal cultural style, (but if the bride paid for the second dress I’d happily wear it).
Post # 6
the problem now I guess is that I feel guilty if they buy a dress that isn’t exactly their culture. They can wear the skirt to their Cambodian temples because it’s the same but the top they can do whatever with since it’s pretty simple.
if they don’t want to buy the dress it’s fine with me even though I feel a bit sad that they wouldn’t be matching al of us but they’re saying it’s up to me. So I don’t know what they really feel ok with.
Post # 7
Have you offeed to buy the Thai dress for them? I think it’s a bit much to ask BM’s to buy two dresses no matter what the culture or cost. It’s obviously not that important to the groom as his wedding party are not wearing two outfits.
Post # 8
I would be unbelievably annoyed at being asked to buy TWO bridesmaid dresses. If it’s just $60, as you say, you can offer to buy it for them.
Post # 9
I agree. OP, I would just spring for the extra $120 and buy the cultural dresses for them.
Post # 10
I agree with above. They said they’re willing to wear it for you so stop feeling guilty about following through on that. But, asking them to buy two dresses is rude. Pay for the Thai dresses. It’s such a small piece of a wedding budget. Don’t be a penny pincher on issues like this. Enjoy bringing your culture into your wedding. I saw your dress on your other thread. It all sounds beautiful.
Post # 11
I’m just going to say whoever wants to wear the Thai dress, just message me hour size so I can purchase by x month. Emphasizing that it isn’t required. That way I’m not making the decision and putting it on everyone as a whole rather than making it seem so direct. If they don’t want to wear it, I’m fine with it. My MoH thinks it looks bad if the sister in laws look “left out”. But oh well.